High School Memories

The building was added on to after I attended school here.

Yesterday my husband and I went to the building where I attended high school to return some chairs we borrowed for our wedding.  I hadn't been there in almost twenty years.  A converted farm house into a Christian school, it holds so many memories for me.  We had 16 students in our school, all the girls being in high school.

Adoption (non) update

It's been a week since we got the news every prospective adoptive parent fears -- and so far we haven't heard anything more.  The agency isn't sure what is going on, and of course we're just as clueless.

We fell in love with a specific boy, and that's why we started the adoption process when we did.  But now it's looking like we won't be able to adopt him.

People have asked me specifics, but it's like I told someone, "In the even things do work out and we are able to adopt him, it's his story and he should have the ability to share it or not share it, whatever he chooses."   I don't feel I can make that decision for him.

We've started Adoption Paperwork!

I've been a bit quiet this week, but I've been super busy.  We started paperwork this week to potentially adopt a child!



Classes start in October.  We've been remodeling our home for a while, and it's a wreck with everything everywhere.  (For a while we moved our living room into the office, etc.)  We have lots of work to do, because the house isn't quite ready to pass the home study yet (that will be pricey in and of itself.)  Plus, we're pursuing a private adoption, and that is pricey as well.

Next week we get fingerprinted, and I have an inch of paperwork we need to fill out.

Exciting times!

Making the Most of Your iPhone at Summer Events, Fairs, and Festivals

FTC disclaimer:  This is a sponsored post from U.S. Cellular.  All opinions are my own.

U.S. Cellular offers a FREE PRINTABLE Parent Child agreement to help you discuss safety of the Internet, cell phone usage, limits, and courtesy with your teen or tween.  You don't even need to be a U.S. Cellular customer to access this, although I have been for 10 years and highly recommend them. 

In addition to back to school month, many fairs and festivals are happening this month.  There's so many fun things at them -- from the food (cotton candy!)  to the music, to the events (demolition derby anyone?)

Adoption Book Review: At Any Cost by Mike and Haley Jones

FTC disclaimer:  This post contains Affiliate Links.  I received a copy of the book for free from the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review.

A quick scroll through my Facebook feed shows numbers of smiling children.  However, there's quite a few who don't look like their parents.  Many of my friends have adopted, both from the United States and overseas.  I've celebrated on this side of the world when they would post that papers were signed and they were now the proud parents of a child they had prayed for, raised money to bring home, and most importantly loved before the child even knew the parents existed.

I love to travel and U.S. Cellular Keeps Me Connected

FTC disclaimer:  This is a sponsored post from U.S. Cellular.  All opinions are my own.


U.S. Cellular offers a FREE PRINTABLE Parent Child agreement to help you discuss safety of the Internet, cell phone usage, limits, and courtesy with your teen or tween.  You don't even need to be a U.S. Cellular customer to access this, although I have been for 10 years and highly recommend them. 

I love to travel.  When I was growing up, my mother used to tell me my room had more maps hanging on the walls than the school did.  I'd sit and study maps for hours dreaming of places I'd never been, wondering what life would be like there, and eventually getting interested in penpals because I wanted to learn about other places.  I read every book about places our library had.

Sexual Abuse, Victim Blaming, and Josh Duggar

When my husband showed me the news story about Josh Duggar, I was not surprised.   What I was surprised about is that the media finally picked up on it.  How I knew this years ago I'm not sure, but I did.  I remember references to Jim Bob talking about "sin in the camp".  Anyone who didn't see something like this coming had their head in the sand if for no other reason that one in four girls and one in six boys are abused sexually.  When you have nineteen children, statistics say there will be some in your family who will be sexually abused.

There are some things that are bothering me about this, and things I have heard very few people mention.   Where are the victims?

First off, let's ask who the victims are.  This is not normal behavior for a teenager.   I can't help but wonder if Josh learned this behavior from a predator himself.  If so, this is something that has not been mentioned.  Still, he is responsible for his behavior.

Where are Josh's victims?  I'll tell you where they are -- having one of the most painful things that has ever happened to them all over the place.  Can you imagine the looks his sisters are getting when they go to the grocery store?   When they go to church?  When they pick up diapers for their children?  No person of sexual abuse needs to have their story plastered all over the media.  It doesn't need to be covered up, but if everyone wouldn't have said 'sisters' their identity would have been protected and they could have processed their pain in private like most victims of sexual abuse.

Another concern I have is the purity culture in which the Duggars are in.  Sometimes this is victim blaming.  I was in college in the 1990s when the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye gained popularity.  This is when I saw the rise of purity culture among mainstream Christians, and learned about victim blaming.   There was a girl I was friends with who was sexually assaulted one night.  When she told a Christian worker about it, this girl was told that she needed to be held accountable with her actions around men.   I don't see that someone who is a victim of sexual abuse should be held accountable for what someone did to her.

I had another friend who was sexually abused before she was a teenager.  I remember her telling me that it was her fault and that no man would ever marry her because she was "used".

What is done to you is NOT your fault   If you are reading this, and this is the first time you have heard this, PLEASE believe me.  You may have physically enjoyed the way the abuse felt.  It is still not your fault.  It may have been the most heinous hour of your life.  It is still not your fault.  You may have been wearing a bikini or a burqua.  It is still not your fault. You may have been drunk.  I am not sure about other states, but if you are drunk in West Virginia, anything that is done to you is considered sexual abuse and it is not your fault.

Please know you are not used.   You are not damaged property, and there will be someone who loves you enough out there to understand what happened to you and will want to marry you.   Please know that forgiveness doesn't mean you have to put yourself in a situation to be hurt again.  There are people who have hurt me, but I don't dwell on it.   I may not speak to them, but that doesn't mean that I brood over the wrongs they did to me.  Forgiveness if for yourself only so you can move on, and if you can't forgive right away, it means you are processing your pain and that can also be a great thing.   Forgiveness is a process and happens as healing comes.  Don't let anyone push you, and don't let anyone define your journey for you.  Your experience is as unique as you are.

If you have never talked about your abuse, I encourage you to tell someone.  Here are some numbers that may be helpful:  Please be careful clicking links if you live with your abuser and your abuser might see your internet history.

RAINN (Rape and Incest National Network) 1-800-656-HOPE  (4673)  http://centers.rainn.org/

My local area:

Garrett County Maryland:
The Dove Center  301-334-9000  http://www.gcdovecenter.org/index.php

North Central West Virginia
Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center 304-292-5100  http://rdvic.org/

Why Back To School Sales Should Interest you -- Even if you don't have School Aged Children

I don't have children, school aged or otherwise, but I'm really looking forward to the school supply sales.  Why?  Well, for one reason I'm an office supply junkie.  The other reason is because I love bargains.  So why should you be interested in back to school sales?

1.   Christmas.   What do you need at Christmas time?   Tape.  Scissors.  More tape because you misplaced that last roll.  Pens.  These things don't expire, so the perfect time to buy them is at Back to School.   Also, sales on fun notebooks, pencils, etc. make good gifts to children.  I know when I was in school, it was near mid-year that I needed new notebooks.  My parents never bought extra, so they had to pay full price.  If you are making a gift of notebooks, don't use the cheap notebooks, but the ones that are fun.  Also, Crayola items are often on sale and these make great stocking stuffers.

An Interesting Observation on Marriage Advice

I've been married under two months.  I don't think that makes me an expert on marriage by any stretch of the imagination.  I do, however, want to talk about marriage advice that was given us and give a few suggestions if you are giving advice to newlyweds or those soon to be married.

The Land of the Living

I woke this morning with an old Christian song going through my head, "It's time to get back to the land of the living".   While the song actually talks about is forgiveness, but I keep thinking about "The Land of the Living".