Called to be Amish by Marlene Miller Book Review

FTC disclaimer:  I received a free copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

I realize I went to an unconventional high school.  There were 16 of us in grades 1-12.  A small Christian school at the beginning of the Christian schooling movement, we were unique.  Mine was the first graduating class.  We were located right in the middle of an Amish community.

We didn't have any Amish students attending our school, but I can remember buying carrots from the lady with the buggy parked in her garage.  There's nothing like a carrot harvested that day.  It was not unusual for another Amish lady to stop by to use the phone in our one room schoolhouse.  

The Day I left Church in Tears

I'm 41 years old, and I'm getting married for the first time in nineteen days.  I never expected to be this old and just now getting married, but my mother had a lot of health problems and once the time was right and I met my boyfriend, my mother asked him to move here and help take care of her.  I had been taking care of her myself but  it was too much for me to handle at that point without help.  She didn't want to live her final days in a nursing home.  I honored my mother's wishes, and my boyfriend did, too.  Between the two of us, we were able to keep her at home.  To me, it was the right thing to do, and I felt I was doing what God wanted for me as well.  She passed away at home, while I was at a small group from church.

Last Mother's Day was the first without her.   I headed to the first service our church holds, and it being on a Saturday I thought I was "safe".  I remembered how my mother said in her childhood church every woman got a carnation -- one color if your mother was living and another if your mother was deceased.  I thought about how difficult it would be the first year to wear the deceased color.

Nothing was said about Mother's Day all through the service.  But at the end.  Oh, how I wish I had left early.  Our church had about 50 in that service, and the mi
nister called all mothers up to the front.  I was the only adult woman left in the pews.  It was all men and me.  (I don't recall any children being at that service.)  I felt so singled out when every woman but me was called to the front.  Every woman but me received a flower.   It was uncomfortable, but I've dealt with that for years.  It doesn't matter how much you may want a child, at most churches I've been to only those who have children either biologically or adopted are honored.  (I've often wondered how women who have no children with them but have given a child a chance at a better life by releasing them to be adopted feel when all mothers are to stand.)

Mom and me after she was on dialysis for a couple years.

I was the only woman who was not given a flower.  I was the only woman looking on at all the other women while the minister did a mini-sermon about how being a mother and raising a child is God's highest calling.   (Isn't the calling God has on your life His highest calling for you?  And my calling is not what someone else's calling is so why should we say what is God's highest calling?)    My fiance tried to comfort me, but that only made it worse.  I was in absolute tears.  So much so that one of the women brought her flower to me, the childless one.

Isaiah 51:4 says it beautifully:

Rejoice, childless one, who did not give birth; burst into song and shout, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the forsaken one will be more than the children of the married woman," says the LORD."   (NLT)

Yet, it sometimes feels that churches forget this verse.  I have a friend named Leslie who is an amazing children's volunteer in her church.  She's still single.  Do you think the dozens of children she has ministered to would not rise up and call her blessed?  (Proverbs 31) I know I feel that way about the children's and youth workers I have had in my growing up years.  Leslie has children -- just in a different way -- their parents trust her with their child's spiritual education each week.  Mother's Day is just as much about Leslie as it is the woman who gave birth.  Let's begin to recognize that fact, and honor the sacrifices people like Leslie make.  We met at a retreat and she said how much she loved the times of worship because it was so seldom she was able to be in an adult worship service.

Last year after the minister finished his mini-sermon on motherhood being the highest calling in a woman's life, church was dismissed.  I want children.  I spoke to my doctor today about the possibilities and risks of trying to have a child.  I'm 41 and have health problems.  From the sounds of things, it likely won't happen.  We hope to adopt.  But until now God's highest calling for me was taking care of my ailing mother.   I couldn't have cared for her the way she needed if I would have had children.

Ours was the first of four church services over Mother's Day weekend last year.  As I left the church, I mentioned to the minister that he might want to be aware that there are women who want children and can't have them and hearing that motherhood was God's highest calling might not be the best way to honor mothers.  I was met with silence and a blank stare.

As soon as I got to the car, I announced I was never again attending church on Mother's Day as it was too painful.  I went home and went to bed.  My fiance had the next day off work and wanted to see me busy so we did a day of geocaching until we were exhausted.

Let's remember that God calls different people to different things.  Mother's Day can be a difficult day for various reasons.  Infertility, singleness, miscarriage.  I'm not saying to not  honor mothers but I'd love to see churches be mindful of the pain this day can cause, and let's also remember the Leslies in our church, the single women who give so much to the children.

G Movies review, Free trial and Giveaway

FTC disclosure:  I received a free subscription to gMovies to help facilitate this review.  All opinions are my own.

I love my tablet.  There's so many things it can do from entertainment to educational, encouraging me spiritually, and helping me track finances.  It is usually with me at all times.  One thing I often like to do is watch something to help me fall asleep.  With no cable service, it is sometimes hard to decide what to watch.  So when I had an opportunity to review gMovies, I was excited.  After all, a movie streaming service with family friendly options?  What's not to like?  Plus, there is no contract and you can cancel anytime!

Of course, I use my tablet, but gMovies can be accessed from an iPad, Android, or PC.  There are 300 Christian movies and TV shows you can choose from with new titles added monthly.  It's powered by the UP Network for UPlifting entertainment.  At only $4.99 a month, this would be great to allow children to pick their own shows because you know everything on this app is wholesome entertainment.   Wait -- did I say entertainment?  They also have some documentaries.  I'm a documentary junkie and that was the first section I checked out when I downloaded the app.

Another thing I really liked was the selection of shows.  I was happy to see they had some Davey and Goliath.  But the very first thing I watched was Mandie and the Forgotten Christmas.   I was always a huge fan of the Mandie books when I was a child, and I hadn't known there had been Mandie movies made.

I have a special treat for my readers.  gMovies has given me a code for a TWO WEEK FREE TRIAL!   That's right, every one of you can try out gMovies for two weeks.  Just go to gMovies and enter code: FREETRIAL56

That's not all, one reader will receive a six month subscription to gMovies.   Just enter the giveaway below.  Giveaway open to the US AND Canada.  

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"Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

 Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller / FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”

Why We Are NOT having Dancing at Our Wedding Reception

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I have never dreamed of having dancing at my wedding reception.  I grew up in the Church of the Nazarene and in that era, they frowned on dancing.  Square dance was not even allowed as a phys ed class.  I never learned to dance, and although I don't see it as a sin (at least depending on the type of dancing), I just had no desire for it at my wedding reception.  Growing up, I always thought I'd probably have the type of reception where everyone went downstairs in the church basement and drank punch, ate mints (and if was really fancy, wedding cake), and as entertainment watch the bride and groom open their gifts.  I have no desire to dance at my wedding reception.

Then I met and fell in love with someone from the city.  Country and city people are radically different.  The first time I mentioned no dancing to my fiance, he was surprised, but we both decided that given the situation, we wanted to come up with a fun alternative.

It's POSSIBLE to change the world Review and giveaway

FTC disclosure:  I received a copy of the book Possible in exchange for a fair and honest review.  I also received an appreciation certificate from Family Christian for hosting this giveaway.  This post contains an affiliate link to Family Christian.  This post is merely telling some of my experiences in helping with Nuru International.  Family Christian, Stephan Bauman, are in no way connected to Nuru International, although it's a great organization and I thought it appropriate to share about this organization.

When I was in college, we used to sit around and dream of changing the world.  I think a lot of college students do, but some friends of mine started a non-profit that has been amazing with results and as a result I feel I have a part in changing the world.   Because of this when Family Christian offered the opportunity to review Possible  by Stephan Bauman who is president and CEO of World Relief, I was excited because I know changing the world is possible.   I do it every time I list an item for sale online.  No, not impossible but Possible.

When I first received this book I couldn't wait to start reading it.  I knew that my friends had a new and innovative way to help include people in their fight against extreme poverty.  I wanted to read more of what they knew that I didn't.  This is a great book for anyone who wants to change the world, if you are on the front lines or if you work behind the scenes.  Just be warned, you will come away from this book knowing it can be done, and the "It will never work" excuse will no longer fly!  I also received a copy of Imagine What is Possible which is sold both as single copies or as 10 packs.  This booklet sums up the book in one short reading.  This is great for church groups to start finding their vision!

One of the things I liked about this book was the author mentioned different times that bloggers have a huge influence in our world.  We can help spread the word about causes and rally support.  I love how he emphasizes we find our talent and use it!  If we aren't talented in public speaking, that's not how we will likely change the world.  I'm good at social media, getting people involved in ideas, and spreading the word about causes.  I have a friend who uses her talents of crafts to raise money for missions and donate blankets and sweaters to newborns in need. She also crochets sleeping mats for the homeless. I have a talent of finding bargains, so it's not uncommon for me to walk away from a garage sale with a bag of yarn I got for almost nothing to give her to use in her projects.  Unusual ways of changing the world but it is giving to others.  Another lady I know loves using coupons and donates items she purchased almost free to her local food bank.  

In Possible, Bauman talked about finding our passion and sticking with it.  In another book I read recently, it said how we are all the church and if we have a passion, we shouldn't just say to our local church, "We need to do this thing that is my passion."  We are all the church, so we should follow our passion and ask the Church for help if needed.

I have two dear friends from college who have found their passion in adopting special needs children from Asia.  Sometimes special needs can be something as small as a cosmetic surgery. My friends have taken six children into their hearts and home.  My heart has been breaking for them because they were told their daughter Ami had epilepsy, but that's not what is wrong with her.  She actually has a very rare disease and is needing a major surgery that will leave her physically handicapped just so she can have quality of life.  She doesn't weigh enough at the moment for surgery.  Please pray for Ami.  She is so loved, and she is so seriously ill, even though she doesn't look it in this photo.

Ami and her mother.  Photo courtesy of Marjorie S.

Finding your passion makes world changing POSSIBLE.  You might not be able to change the entire world but you can change a corner of it.  Ami's life has been changed because of a couple who see the need for finding orphans a family.  Marjorie also helps others navigate through the adoption process.  

 Another passion of mine is a local public school.  I truly believe in education even though I don't currently have children.  After a big project I did to help out the school, I was quoted in the paper about helping others, "Everyone can do something."  A lot of those "somethings" add up.  Just find what you can do and anything is POSSIBLE!

A chemist, a magician, and a developer all walk into a meeting bringing different skills, but but wearing one common t-shirt.  If you can't read it, it says, "This t-shirt will not end extreme poverty, but you can with Nuru".   Each time I list something for sale online, I usually donate 10% of the amount to a charity, often times Nuru.  I have mentioned Nuru in an interview I have done about how I donate from auction sales.  I give, and I spread the word.  I might not be able to be on the ground in Africa making a difference, but this is how I make a difference from West Virginia.

Photo courtesy Billy Williams of Nuru International

What do my donations and spreading awareness make POSSIBLE?  A farmer has more maize than his family needs and he can sell some for a profit.   The lady in the photo is making her first deposit in a banking system and was so excited she was able to save some money that she asked for her photo to be taken.

Photos courtesy Billy Williams of Nuru International

Just like Stephan Bauman says in his book, let's find our cause, raise awareness, and change the world because it truly is possible.  If I can help change the world, you can too!  Find your passion.  Hone your skills, and let's see lasting change!

Needless to say, I highly recommend the book Possible.  This is great for every college student who is dreaming great dreams.  I recommend it to pastors, mission boards, those interested in the poor. Basically, if you care about people, I would say you should probably read this book.

Believe it or not, this was a book review sponsored by Family Christian.  They are a fantastic go to place for all your needs, it doesn't matter if you are having a VBS at your church or the jungle on a mission trip, they have the supplies you would need to make changing your world POSSIBLE.    They want to give one reader of this post a $10 Appreciation certificate to Family Christian.  This giveaway is open to the USA only and ends April 9.  Winner has 48 hours to respond to the winning e-mail or another winner will be chosen.

Enter in the widget below!  :)

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Rules meant no decisions.

Most of my posts contain affiliate links where I get a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you when you purchase something through a link.  Thank you for starting your shopping here at Books, Bargains, Blessings.

I still feel very shaken by the phone call I had on Friday.  Years of my life trying to join a Church that I just feel doesn't want me -- but feeling a peace about it, too.  I'm not sure why life gave me that leg of my journey.  I just feel relief that it's over.  No more trying to jump through hoops.  No more obstacles put in my way.

I used to think faith was about rules and what I did and didn't do.  When I was in high school, I had a checklist of things to see how good of a Christian I was each week.  Choir practice?  check.  Memorize a Bible verse?  Check?  If I didn't write a missionary, deduct points.

Life was neat and orderly.  There was no gray.  Everything not done in faith was sin, and boy howdy, (as I used to say in high school) there was a lot of sin in those days.

My journey away from that isn't what I want to talk about right now, but sometimes how it would have seemed simpler to live in that, at least in some ways.  I remember friends who even acted dumber than they were so their husbands wouldn't feel like they were not as intelligent as their wife.  It was all part of being submissive to your husband (in the Biblical sense of the word, not as in Fifty Shades!)

I still get a magazine that is well known in some Fundamentalist circles.  I always read it, cover to cover.  Aside from being a voracious reader, there is something in me that feels like their lives are less complicated.  Denim skirts.  (I admit, I'm starting to buy some denim skirts these days but just because my fiance likes me wearing a skirt and I find them comfortable as well as much easier to shop for since I'm short.)  The women in this magazine generally have a lot of children, usually named Biblical names.  These photos look so clean, so polished, so perfect.

But being perfect nearly killed my spirit.  It's been a long journey from there, a lot of study, a lot of change.  I even learned some Ancient Hebrew so I could read parts of the Old Testament in its original language.  What that gave me was an understanding that I couldn't have received otherwise.  One verse that was always held up as a rally cry -- I have read it in the original language.  No one can ever again tell me that it means something it doesn't.  That is a liberating feeling.

I think of a Stephen Curtis Chapman song called "Remember Your Chains".   There's a line that says "No heart loves greater than one who is able to recall when all it knew was shame."   That's what all those rules did to me.  Shame.  I couldn't live up to what I had in my mind that was required from me.

But it was easier.  It was easier than having to weigh the pros and cons of each situation.  It was easier to say all movies in movie theaters were bad and avoiding even the Christian ones because of the "unsavory place" (and more for appearances because it wasn't avoiding every appearance of evil).  Now I have the difficult part of life where I have to make decisions and not all decisions are made for me by someone in "spiritual authority" over me. I have to own the responsibility of my choices and not avoid everything.

The amount of shame was profound.  I couldn't grasp grace.  Just that I was bad.  Not that I should become a Christian because God loved me but because I was bad and I would be punished otherwise.  That's not love.  That's manipulation.  And while I do believe it is true, that's not why we should love God.  I John says "We love because He first loved us."  Notice it doesn't say "We love because otherwise we would be punished."

I don't know if the true Gospel was truly never presented to me or if I was so enveloped in a "do good, don't do bad" world that I couldn't see the real message of faith.

I admit, sometimes it feels as if the days when I was following the rules to the letter were easier because I didn't have to make decisions.  But they certainly weren't as freeing and peaceful.

God's Grace doesn't Require Groveling

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I wrote an e-mail last night.  In it I said, "I don't think groveling becomes me."   I also said that if a church didn't want to open its arms to me, it was their loss not mine.  When my fiance got off work yesterday, I told him of a phone conversation I had.  We cried.  We cried for the time I invested in something that didn't work out.  We cried for how Jesus is represented inaccurately.  We cried because I felt hurt.

Yet, I felt a huge relief, too.   I e-mailed another person last night.  I tried to resist.  But I kept feeling like I should.  Her response just felt like salve to an open wound.  It was then, even before my fiance got home, I felt like everything was going to be okay.

What brought on my pain yesterday was a phone call.  But I have the wisdom to walk away from the situation.  During this phone call, many things were said that hurt, but right now the one that stuck out was, "Did you tithe on the inheritance you received?"   My mother died a little over a year ago.  I was only making a FOUR figure income in years prior because I lived with her to help take care of her.  Because of her many doctor appointments and dialysis treatments and limited mobility, I did what I could to make money at home.  But it was never quite enough.  I'm using that money now to remodel the house.  It's not out of vanity.  I want to be able to live in a house where there is no mold growing.  I can't imagine the 60 year old carpet is good for my allergies.  The people who lived here in the early 1980s had a cat that regularly used the carpet as a litter box.   On damp days you can still smell the ammonia.  Yet, I'm asked if I tithed.  If I did or if I didn't, that's something between God and me.  It is no one else's business, especially not someone who is not even my pastor!  I'm not even sure the money will last long enough to get all the mold and such out of the house.  Which is more important?  Padded pews for a church or making sure I have heat in the winter?  (My basement flooded this week and thankfully the motor on the furnace didn't go out.  Still it's over $1,000 to make sure it won't happen again.)  I'm not opposed to tithing and giving money.  I'm actually quite generous but what I give, where I give, how I give, and how much I give is not anyone else's business.

I am tired of manipulation in any sense of the word.  I don't have to jump through hoops to be loved by God.  Jesus isn't Santa Claus who is going to keep a list and check it twice.

Where did the grace go?  I remember being a student in college and our chapel resounding with the notes of the song "Wonderful Grace of Jesus"



All sufficient Grace for even me.  Wow.  Not because of what we've done, how much we've tithed, how much we've groveled or how many hoops we've jumped through.  It's all sufficient grace.  We don't need to add anything to be worthy.  It's done.

I had a dream last night where I was in a building that was underwater.  I only had so much oxygen yet I needed to get out of the water, and the only way to do that was through obstacles -- I needed to ascend to each floor.  Sometimes I had to do things to be allowed to pass to the next floor.  Only on the next to the last floor did I find a chance to rest.  I woke when I was able to burst out of this building and find freedom.

It seems so appropriate.  I've done so much striving hoping to be worthy for God.

Relationships shouldn't be made out of fear.  We should have the freedom to enjoy them.

Before I fell asleep last night, I picked up my copy of Runaway Radical I recently received to review.  I wanted to flip through it.  I related to the story.  I wanted to read through the last chapter once again.

I had no recollection the word groveling was used in the book as I finished reading it nearly a month ago.  I began reading the book as an outsider looking in, then as someone who felt compassion because of a similar -- but lesser experience.  But there it was.  Even the word "grovel":

Jonathan had finally received a response to his plea: "How long do I grovel at His feet?  He's not there."  And the response was, "I'm here, whether you are or not."  It wasn't too late; that Jesus was still around.  Had always been around.   (From Runaway Radical by Amy Hollingsworth and Jonathan Hollingsworth)

Jesus says in the book of Matthew "My yoke is easy and my burden light."   My desire is someday that all churches will ease up on the things they extra things require and allow Christians to enjoy God's grace, especially those of us who are intense about our faith and strive so hard.  Maybe, maybe it's time we just rest.   The beginning of that passage in Matthew says, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."  True rest can't come in following man made rules, but grace gives rest.

Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family by Michelle Anthony

FTC disclaimer:  I received a copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.  All opinions are my own.

Have you ever read a book that parts just don't seem to apply to you?  Have you ever read a book that you feel like the author is speaking right to you?  This is one of those books.  In a very creative style of addressing parenting style, Michelle Anthony speaks to nearly every type of parent.  This book has a twist, though.  Instead of telling you to change, she gives suggestions on how to give yourself and your fears to the Lord so that you will eventually change as your trust in Him grows.

As a single (but soon to be married) person, this book interested me because if I can start working on my imperfections now, I won't be Super Mom someday, but I will hopefully have worked on some issues that will allow my children to be raised in a healthier spiritual environment.  (I say healthier because I'll never be perfect.)

Oh, but perfection is something that I always have strived for.  I remember when I was in high school I had a chart that I could check off and see how good of a Christian I was that week.  I thought of that as I was reading the chapter "Beyond Good Behavior and chore Charts".   I had the good behavior, but unfortunately those around me hadn't encouraged me in faith formation, but left me drowning in moral education.  There's a difference, and the approach could mean your child staying with your faith or abandoning it once they are on their own.

Faith that Sticks Sticker review and #Giveaway ends 3/2

FTC disclaimer:  I received samples of the product for review and crafting purposes.  

I have always loved stickers.  I can remember in the 1970s, before sticker collecting became popular,  I stapled some paper together and wrote on the front sheet "My Sticker Book".  My grandmother was working at a Christian bookstore and brought me some stickers one day, and I said, "I need to get my sticker book."  She said stickers were not for books.  Well, we both are right.  It's fun to save stickers and look at them (I still have my sticker collection from the 1980s) but it's also fun to make some crafts with them and share them with others.

Recently Faith that Sticks sent me an amazing collection of stickers to review.  

There were so many fun packages of stickers.  What could I make with them?  

The package of stickers of children praying made me think how I have at times wished I would have kept more of a record of what I prayed for and then later be able to look back and see how God answered.  This would be a great and simple craft for a time of new beginnings -- spring, a new school year, January 1, a birthday.  Just write what you pray for on slips of paper and drop in there.  The next year open it and see how many were answered!

There was no doubt what I would do with the God's Armor stickers.  This would make a great Sunday School craft for when teaching on the armor of God.  An inexpensive photo frame and you'll have a great take home reminder to help the Sunday School lesson "stick".

I always loved scratch and sniff stickers when I was little.   Tyndale House doesn't make scratch and sniff, but they do have "Stick and Sniff" where the scent is infused into the sticker and you can smell it without scratching it.  They have three different types -- roses, flowers, and jellybeans.  I remember in first grade my teacher made a card for all of us to sign for a boy who had his tonsils out.  We loved to sniff stickers so much that she had to tell us to stop because there wouldn't be any scent left for him.  So, I decided to make a simple craft with these because of how well loved scented stickers are.  I used the verse about us being the aroma of Christ and children could write ways they can be that aroma to others.

The set of Mom and Me stickers seemed to lend themselves great to a Mother's Day card.  But folded card are just so conventional, so this would be a great keepsake card.  I know I sometimes look at tracings of my hand from when I was little and it amazes me I was that small.

I started memorizing Bible verses because of VBS.  Over the years I have memorized huge sections of Scripture.  One thing I wish would have been started with me when I was a child was any verse I memorized being written down on an index card so I could review it.  At first there wouldn't be many but after years there would have been hundreds, and with me possibly thousands.  I thought about a way to incorporate stickers into Scripture memory at least for a younger child.  I came up with the idea to have a box where a sticker would be place when the verse can be quoted.  An added bonus if you are homeschooling you could teach alphabetical order using Scripture memory cards.  Or you could ask the child to file them away in order they are in the Bible.

One thing that my church always did when I was growing up was all VBS offerings were for missions.  Also, there was always a competition.  Not to see how much money was brought in, but to see if the boys or the girls would win on how much the offering would weigh.  That meant pennies were the thing everyone wanted to bring in.  But every year, no one ever thought about saving pennies before that week.  So why not make a missions penny bank?  Even if your VBS doesn't weigh the offering, it is a great way to remember that what doesn't seem like a lot to us can mean so much to others.

There are so many fun stickers that are made by Faith that Sticks.  I noticed they have some that say "Happy Birthday, Jesus".  That is the theme of my church's VBS this summer, so I'll have to order some of those.  Remember those stickers I told you about my grandmother getting me in the 1970s?  Do you know how surprised I was to see they still utilize some of the same designs in their Inspirational Motto package.   

At an average retail price of $2.49 for usually either five or six sheets, these stickers are a bargain.  They are also acid free so you can use them in scrapbooking.

And now for the Giveaway.  Open to the USA 18 and older.  Winner has 48 hours to respond to the winning e-mail or another winner will be chosen.

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Runaway Radical Book Review

FTC disclaimer: I received an advance reader's copy of this book from Family Christian in order to do a review as well as compensation for running a giveaway.

The index card in my hand felt so obvious.  I folded it so no one saw I still had it as the buckets went down the row to collect these cards from other students.  I was at a conference and nearly everyone filled out a card saying they pledged one year of their life to full time Christian work.  I didn't know if I could do that.  Rather than lie and sign my name to something, I didn't return it.  I still have that card, unfilled out, and stuck in the Bible I took to that conference.  It's stayed in there for seventeen years as a reminder.  First a reminder of guilt.  Now a reminder of I'm free to be a Christian without the promises and works.

In Runaway Radical, Jonathan Hollingsworth reminded me so much of myself at his age.  I recently tweeted to him that his book showed me where I went wrong in college.  Yet, in some ways, like the author, I'm still trying to get it right.  I grew up in a legalistic church.  No movies.  No dancing.  I became legalistic in relationships with men and gave up dating for God's standard.  Yet, the husband I felt God was going to lead to me didn't appear.  (As I write this, I am 41 and getting ready to be married for the first time.  What would it have done to my faith at age 20 to know I would have to wait another two decades for marriage?)  Over time, I began to see the rules as legalism.  I began to shed the don't, but in the process, I picked up the "do"s.  Go on mission trips.  Care for the least of these.  I remember feeling called by God to go on a missions trip in college.  I remember a few nights before I left I got on my knees to beg God to consider I was willing to do that for Him, and wouldn't it please be enough, did I really have to go?   I had to.  And it was a very difficult time.  These are the missions trips you don't hear about in church.  I had a lot of financial support.  I returned and spoke in churches of the good parts of the trip, the difficulties swept under the rug.  This is why this book resonated so much with me.

One of the lines in the book says something to the effect of he learned to be sold out and extreme for Christ, but what about teaching us to be average Christians?  I'm sorry to say, I'm still learning that.  I'm twice the age of the author, but I'm still figuring out it's okay to be a normal person and a Christian.  It doesn't make us any less of one if we have jobs where we work for secular employers.  It might FEEL wrong, but I learned years ago that we are to serve God where we are going, not go and serve.  Yet, I still heard little about that.  Go. What if we stay?  Not all missions organizations are the same.  Some, like the author of Runaway Radical, would be better if we stayed away from them rather than partnering with them.  Not everyone is cut out to be an overseas missionary.   You could be allergic to a key ingredient in food of a certain country.  What happens when you feel God calling you to something and you fail?  Does it mean He failed you?  Did you not hear Him?  This book wrestles with these questions and more.

I can't tell you how highly I recommend this book.  It is one of the books that I believe will stand the test of time and become a classic, and hopefully even required reading for future missionaries.  God does call some people.  I have several friends who are foreign missionaries.  But make sure the "Go" is from God and not from guilt because we as Americans have so much and there are millions in this world without the luxuries that we have because we were born into this country.  

Before you go, read this book.

Saving Christmas Review and Giveaway (ends 11/20/14)

Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas premiers on November 14th in select theaters.

I had the rare opportunity to be able to preview it before it hit theaters.

First:
About the movie:

This Christmas, have your family join with Kirk Cameron’s family and dive headfirst into all the joy, dancing, celebration, feasting, imagination, and traditions that glorify the true “reason for the season.” KIRK CAMERON’S SAVING CHRISTMAS is an engaging story that provides a biblical basis for our time-honored traditions and celebrations, and the inspiration to stand strongly against a culture that wants to trivialize and eliminate the faith elements of this holy season. So take in the splendor; take in the majesty; take in the story. Take it all in… and let’s put Christ back in Christmas! KIRK CAMERON’S SAVING CHRISTMAS is in theaters for a limited engagement beginning November 14 for two weeks only!

And second, I will be hosting a giveaway where one of the readers of The Radar Report will win a Saving Christmas swag bag.  This will include a SIGNED Kirk Cameron Saving Christmas poster, a car air freshener that is shaped like a Christmas ornament and smells like a pine tree, plus a CD of Christmas songs.

 

My opinion of the movie:

There was nothing that was new to me in this movie.  My fiance, though, said it presented a very different view on the symbols of Christmas than he has ever been taught.  I did enjoy this movie, and I honestly cheered as Santa Claus was described as to how he fits into Christmas traditions.  If you didn't know, the real Santa was St. Nicholas.  I only learned last year what a defender of the faith he was.  At the council of Nicaea in 325, there was a man named Arius who was spreading heresy.  And St. Nicholas was so upset he punched him right in the kisser! (And who says church history is boring -- yet this was something I didn't learn in my history of Christianity class in high school!)  Saint Nicholas is one of my heroes of the faith.  I know I don't have the courage to speak up when I hear false teachings.  (Although it's probably a good thing that I don't defend my faith with my fists, but I still admire him!)

Even though there was nothing new to me (but I am also much more versed in the Bible and Christian history than the average person.) I still very much appreciated and enjoyed this movie. Swaddling clothes.  I remember asking about them when I was in my first Christmas pageant at Church.   "Just something they used back then"  (Yes, but what else is it used for?)  What are frankincense and myrrh?  As a child, I thought they were pretty lame gifts for a Baby.  But as I have learned more, I understand why they were given.

In 2006, I had the privilege of visiting Israel.  One day of the trip, we began in Bethlehem at the Church of the Nativity.  I was able to kneel at the spot where it is traditionally thought Jesus was born.  That afternoon, in Jerusalem, I walked the streets of Jerusalem where some Christians walk each Friday to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher  to commemorate the death of Christ.  I visited Christ's traditional burial spot, and where some Christians believe He was buried in the same day.  Christmas points towards Easter.

The movie was an interesting concept.  It begins and ends at a Christmas party, while the bulk of the movie is two men sitting in a vehicle, and as Christmas traditions are explained, the movie goes to that tradition.

There was only one part of the movie I didn't enjoy -- the hip hop dance at the end.  I felt it went on too long, and that it didn't really add to the movie -- I think any number of endings would have been just as good if not better.   I am not having dancing at my wedding reception, and yes, I've caught some flak about that.  I grew up in a church that taught dancing was wrong.  I don't agree with that by this point, but also I'm not a big fan of dancing -- even hip hop.  I was glad when that segment was over.

Overall this was a great movie, one that I enjoyed.   I would recommend it to any Christian to help them know about the meanings behind some of the symbols and traditions of Christmas.  It will be in theaters on November 14 and will only run for two weeks, so if you want to see this movie, don't wait.

Also, be sure and visit the site http://www.savingchristmas.com/ for more information and to download images you can use on Facebook like this one:

Also, you can watch the movie trailer right here:

"Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

 Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”

And now for the giveaway:

One winner will be chosen from my blog to receive a prize pack of a Kirk Cameron signed movie poster, a Christmas CD, and a car air freshener that smells like a tree.  U.S. and Canada only.   Winner will have 48 hours to respond before another winner will be chosen.

Entry-Form

Victory in Jesus

I posted this on my Facebook status yesterday:

Went to church at the  Church of the Nazarene this morning. Opening song was Number 434 in the old Nazarene hymnals -- and I didn't look at the hymnal once for that song. When I was a kid going to church there, we sang that song almost every week. Victory in Jesus. That church brought back so many memories. There was cake and ice cream for birthdays after church, and we were able to visit with some people for a while. Yet, I remembered some special people who have passed on from that church. Bob and Dean were so special. I would pick on Dean and she'd always say "I'm telling you!" Gayle is why I started going to church there back in the 1980s. I'm so thankful for her influence in my life. A good day day remembering as well as knowing the future holds good things in store.

I neglected to mention my friend Shelly who went to church there as well.  Shelly passed away this summer. 

It feels like so much has been ripped from me this year.  Nothing feels normal.  Nothing feels even remotely the same.

But going to church where I spent many an hour, hearing 434 being called -- the hymnal fell open to it yesterday, and the strains of "I heard an old, old story" -- a song so familiar I hadn't heard it in years and yet I remembered every word.

I remember the time the we were coming home from a church picnic about 25 years ago, and a kindergartner started singing Victory in Jesus.  Only he sang ONLY the words "Victory in Jesus", on repeat.  I saw his name in the church directory yesterday.

I remembered the time my friend Dean was decorating the Christmas tree and had a strand of Christmas lights that were plugged in at her feet.  She asked, "What hymn am I?"  (Answer "Let the Lower Lights Be Burning".)  Corny, but her laugh was so infectious that we laughed until we almost cried.

I remembered the time after revival we all gathered around the piano and Angie played a number of hymns and we sang until we were hoarse.   

I remembered the time I met the principal of the Christian high school from which I graduated.  My parents and I didn't even know it existed until I greeted her after the service and she told me she was there to give someone information on the school.

And my precious Gayle.  She invited me (no pestered me) to go to church with her, and I got connected in that church.  She passed away a couple years later.   I was an awkward teen, and she reached out, and in so doing honestly changed the course of my life.  Her brother told me on my Facebook page:

What terrific memories and testimony of our sweet Gayle. Thank you Jenn for remaining true to Jesus and honoring my sister by dong so. May the Lord richly bless your marriage!

I feel humbled that he would say such.  My life was made much more full for having known her.

There are others who have passed on from that church, but I've had a rare two days.  Instead of looking at the grief around me and feeling sad, I'm hopeful.  I heard about a mansion he built for me in glory. . . and some sweet day I'll sing up there the song of Victory.

Rare Bird Book Review

Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Anna Whiston-Donaldson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I don't know why I have been seeking out memoirs of loss.  I have lost my mother, grandfather-in-law, as well as three family friends this year.  Reading about loss should be the last thing I want to do, but when I was offered a chance of an advance reading copy of Rare Bird, I accepted it.

This book is beautifully written, tragic, and yet filled with hope.  The only thing I disliked about the book was the foul language used.  Yes, it would be (insert expletive of your choice here) to lose a son, but with this being a Christian book, I was surprised at the language and that would keep me from recommending this book to some people.   I do appreciate her honesty though, and I am not saying I didn't use language like that after some of the losses I experienced this year, I just didn't feel it was appropriate for a Christian book.

The author takes you into her journey of loss.   Being there for her daughter.  Dealing with the loss of a son.  Finding a new normal.  Grief popping up at unexpected times.  Others not knowing what to say or how to help.  Learning about herself.   Learning about others.  Living with loss, heartache, and sorrow.  I admired the support system she had.  When my mother died, I felt lost as I was her primary care giver for years.  I lost a bit of my identity as I did not have a job outside of that.  The day of the funeral a couple desserts, a meat and cheese tray, and some bread arrived at the house.  Then it seemed like silence.

Death is a part of life, but it shouldn't happen too young.  The author's son was in 7th grade.   It was a freak accident during a flood.  Children shouldn't die.  Yet they do.  Life comes with no guarantees.  Picking up this book is like taking a walk with the author in her painful journey of everything being fine one moment -- her last Facebook photo before the accident was of her children and candlelight because of the power outage.  The next day her life was changed forever.

While I have lost family members before, I have never lost a child, an hope I never do.  But this is a glimpse into the horrible pain that those who have lost a child must feel.   Read this book hug your children tighter, and cherish each day because this moment is all we are guaranteed.   Make the most of it.

FTC disclosure:   I received an advance reading copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review.  All opinions are my own.  

Watch the trailer:

You can purchase a copy here:

Ragamuffin Based on the Life of Rich Mullins DVD review and GIVEAWAY

I have been, unfortunately, unable to post this review until now.  The good news of that is rather than posting a review immediately after watching a movie, I can think back on it, mull it over, and give what I believe is a better review.

I was excited to hear of a DVD coming out called Ragamuffin which is based on the life of Rich Mullins.  I followed his music from his first album -- before people started singing Awesome God.  Although I never met him, his life and music influenced my life more than any other artist.  

This DVD is 137 minutes long, and although it's a Christian film, there is caution for language, alcohol use, and smoking.  I am glad to see that Christian films are beginning to show life as it is and not some sugar-coated version where everyone is perfect because I know I'm not, and neither was Rich Mullins.

My fiance had sung Awesome God a number of times, but couldn't tell you who wrote it.  He knew nothing about the life and faith of Rich Mullins, but after watching it, he asked me why this was released straight to DVD and wasn't shown in theaters.  He immediately started saying who he knew who would enjoy this movie, although like him they are not fans.  So this is a fantastic film for anyone regardless if you know every word to every song Rich Mullins sang (I'm raising my hand here) or if you have never heard of him before.

This is a film about the struggle of life.  Hurts from childhood that sear so deep we never really get over them.  Love that is not returned.  Falling in love with Jesus.   Living differently than the industry around you.  Caring about people.  Being a bit of a rebel.  Being a Ragamufin.

I don't want to imitate Rich Mullins, he's not the example we should strive to be, but I long for the faith he had.  I admire him as a fellow believer and hope that my life can be like his.  I have heard (this was not in the movie) that he usually signed albums "Be God's".   This is the story of a man who strove to "Be God's" be in so doing, he was honest with himself and others about his failings, pain, and problems.

Connect with Ragamuffin:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

Purchase the DVD

Watch the trailer:

AND NOW FOR THE GIVEAWAY:

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”

"Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

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The Sting of Mother's Day

I can remember when I was growing up Mom used to talk about the church she grew up in.  On Mother's Day every woman got a flower.  (Bravo!   Do you know how many women  hate Mother's Day because they want children and can't have them?  That church was doing something right to celebrate ALL women on Mother's Day.)  Except -- if your mother was alive you got a flower of one color.  If she was deceased you got a flower of another.  Can you imagine the first year you had to choose a flower of the "deceased" color?   That would bring the pain of her death right back to you.

photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Then there are the churches who give a gift to a mother.  I visited a church a few years ago on Mother's Day and was handed a Mother's Day gift.  I hung my head and said I wasn't a mother.   (I have always wanted to wait until marriage for children.  Because I am not married -- in a huge part because I was taking care of my mother as her health failed -- I am dismissed on Mother's Day.)  The greeter smiled at me and said, "Take it anyway."  Know how happy that made me?  It wasn't the trinket he pressed into my hand, but it felt like he was saying, "It's okay.  You're valuable, too.  And I don't want to make you remember the pain of a loss you never have had."

What about the gifts of "Oldest mother present" (Who likes to tell their age), "Youngest mother present" (often times a baby herself), "Mother with the most children"  (remember there are those who have lost children either by miscarriage or by childhood disease or accident -- please don't bring up that pain).  

Another time I was in church on Mother's Day and the pastor was giving a sermon about how mothers are so important and they can influence their children.  He was emphasizing this just a little too strongly, I thought.  Yes, mothers have influence, but sometimes the best mothers can have a wayward son.  During the sermon -- until she left because she was sobbing -- was the mother of a child who wasn't in church.  The sermon made her feel like a failure.

Is it important to honor mothers?  YES!  It it important to honor women?   YES!  Are there women who want to be mothers who aren't?  YES! 

So, please, as you are thinking of Mother's Day celebrations at church, remember those who might be feeling pain on this day and plan your celebration accordingly.  Why not give a small gift to all women and talk about the mothering spirit?  Or even not mention earthly mothers and make the focus on Mary, the Mother of Jesus.  Even if we don't have children, she is someone all women could aspire to be more like her. 

Just please remember those who might find pain in this holiday.

When the Dash is Too Short

I have heard the saying that all that matters in a cemetery is the dash between the birth and death dates.  Then it is explained that how you live is more important than how long you live.  While there is a grain of truth in that, it was obviously said by someone who wasn't grieving.

Yesterday, I stopped at the cemetery for the first time since Mom died.  I needed to find the way the date was written on the stone so I could get it cut.  The stone is hard to miss.  Mom and Dad sold tombstones until 1986 and before they sold the business, they purchased one for themselves.  It's a bit like Dad -- over the top -- at least in my opinion.  Or it was in 1986. Some of today's stones are a bit fancier.

The dash is too short for both of my parents.   Yesterday morning, I was at a wellness checkup with a new health care provider.  I was asked history, and I realized that both with Mom and Dad, I said they were "only" and then the age when they died.  Mom was only 69.  Dad was only 62.  Only.  Only. Only.  I'm so sick of saying only.

I was listening to K-Love yesterday and hearing stories about how people were healed.   Not all people are healed.  I think it's the exception rather than the rule.  I was listening to this person on K-Love talking about how he was diagnosed with cancer and sent home to die -- and he gave a date that will forever be ingrained in my memory.  The same day the doctor said to me that in 48 hours I would have to make the decision to pull the plug on Mom.  I don't understand why some people are healed and then some aren't.  And some, like my mother, seem to be healed for a time, but then are so sick and go downhill until one day we find her gone -- when nothing seemed amiss that morning except she was in a health decline.

I stopped at the cemetery and saw the words at the top of the stone, "He Hideth My Soul".  That was played during her funeral.  Seeing the freshly dug grave, I was in tears.  My mother was in that cold ground.  I know this is when I "should" be saying that she is walking along the streets of gold or with Jesus, but right then, all I could think was Mom was right there.  And I am alone.  I know, I know, I have my boyfriend, and I love him dearly, but he's not my mother.  I love my "Nancy-in-law" (his step mother), but she's not my mother.  No one is my mother except my mother.  She is irreplacable.

From there, I decided to go out to her home place.  It's five miles out of town.  As I was driving to the church my great-grandfather built, I was wishing someone would be there so I could go inside.  I never remembered being in it, and I felt like it would make me feel a lot closer to Mom.  She had so many stories of the church, including one that was published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Answered Prayers: 101 Stories of Hope, Miracles, Faith, Divine Intervention, and the Power of Prayer about how my great-grandmother prayed for her son during WWII in that church.  Family legend says that hair stood up on the back of people's heads as they heard my great-grandmother plead for her son's life.  After a few minutes of desperate pleading, she got up from her knees and said her son was okay.  Mom related this story so well, it was published in detail.  I've heard so many stories growing up that I feel like I was there for some of them.  But when I got to the church, it was locked and empty.  I figured as much for a Monday afternoon.

This is the church at Freeport near Terra Alta WV.  It once was the Nordeck Evangelical United Brethren Church, but is currently the Freeport King James Bible Church.  

I spent some time just walking around the church.  Remembering the picnic we had with my grandmother who passed away in 1995.  Remembering how a few times each summer Dad would announce, "Let's go for a drive" and many times we'd end up in Freeport, Mom telling me stories.  I am not sure if the tears were happy or sad -- or both.  The dash was well lived, but too short.  I never knew my mother's father, her beloved uncle, or her grandparents.  I was at "home" but also with strangers I've never met except for my mother and grandmother.

I decided to stop at the beaver dam.  When I was growing up, I loved skipping rocks across what is now swamp land.  I loved looking at the ripples and seeing how they resounded.

The farm she grew up on is now private property, but I have been granted permission by the current owners to visit.  It was the first time in years I had walked up to the house (which is now abandoned.)  I always loved the milkhouse, it always seemed like a clubhouse type building to me as a child.  Unfortunately it's beginning to fall in.  The barn is still standing, and the house collapsed years ago.  I walked around the foundations thinking of the generations of my family who lived there (my great-great-grandfather built that house!)  I saw a washtub in the rubble of the house and wondered how many hours my grandmother stood by that doing chores and belting out "Amazing Grace"  (She wasn't the most talented singer, but she made up for it in volume!) 

I sighed as I left and looked out at what my mother would have seen every time she looked off the front porch.  It's no wonder she always missed it.  The view, which I had never really noticed before, is beautiful.  Mom used to joke my grandfather said about the song "Lord Build Me A Cabin", he would state, "Why a cabin in the corner of Gloryland?  I want a mansion in the middle."  But I'm hoping they don't have a cabin -- instead I hope they have a two story farmhouse with a view like they did on earth.  It's beautiful.

There were some raindrops starting to fall as I left.  It felt so fitting.  

As I started back to town, I was still crying.  I felt like I reconnected with my past, with people who love me -- some I've never met.  As I rounded the corner to the church, there was a lady on the porch wiping down a stand, and the door was open.  I stopped, introduced myself and got a tour of the church.  Our church.  The Nordeck Church.   Only it's not ours anymore.  But part of us will always be there.