God's Grace doesn't Require Groveling

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I wrote an e-mail last night.  In it I said, "I don't think groveling becomes me."   I also said that if a church didn't want to open its arms to me, it was their loss not mine.  When my fiance got off work yesterday, I told him of a phone conversation I had.  We cried.  We cried for the time I invested in something that didn't work out.  We cried for how Jesus is represented inaccurately.  We cried because I felt hurt.

Yet, I felt a huge relief, too.   I e-mailed another person last night.  I tried to resist.  But I kept feeling like I should.  Her response just felt like salve to an open wound.  It was then, even before my fiance got home, I felt like everything was going to be okay.

What brought on my pain yesterday was a phone call.  But I have the wisdom to walk away from the situation.  During this phone call, many things were said that hurt, but right now the one that stuck out was, "Did you tithe on the inheritance you received?"   My mother died a little over a year ago.  I was only making a FOUR figure income in years prior because I lived with her to help take care of her.  Because of her many doctor appointments and dialysis treatments and limited mobility, I did what I could to make money at home.  But it was never quite enough.  I'm using that money now to remodel the house.  It's not out of vanity.  I want to be able to live in a house where there is no mold growing.  I can't imagine the 60 year old carpet is good for my allergies.  The people who lived here in the early 1980s had a cat that regularly used the carpet as a litter box.   On damp days you can still smell the ammonia.  Yet, I'm asked if I tithed.  If I did or if I didn't, that's something between God and me.  It is no one else's business, especially not someone who is not even my pastor!  I'm not even sure the money will last long enough to get all the mold and such out of the house.  Which is more important?  Padded pews for a church or making sure I have heat in the winter?  (My basement flooded this week and thankfully the motor on the furnace didn't go out.  Still it's over $1,000 to make sure it won't happen again.)  I'm not opposed to tithing and giving money.  I'm actually quite generous but what I give, where I give, how I give, and how much I give is not anyone else's business.

I am tired of manipulation in any sense of the word.  I don't have to jump through hoops to be loved by God.  Jesus isn't Santa Claus who is going to keep a list and check it twice.

Where did the grace go?  I remember being a student in college and our chapel resounding with the notes of the song "Wonderful Grace of Jesus"



All sufficient Grace for even me.  Wow.  Not because of what we've done, how much we've tithed, how much we've groveled or how many hoops we've jumped through.  It's all sufficient grace.  We don't need to add anything to be worthy.  It's done.

I had a dream last night where I was in a building that was underwater.  I only had so much oxygen yet I needed to get out of the water, and the only way to do that was through obstacles -- I needed to ascend to each floor.  Sometimes I had to do things to be allowed to pass to the next floor.  Only on the next to the last floor did I find a chance to rest.  I woke when I was able to burst out of this building and find freedom.

It seems so appropriate.  I've done so much striving hoping to be worthy for God.

Relationships shouldn't be made out of fear.  We should have the freedom to enjoy them.

Before I fell asleep last night, I picked up my copy of Runaway Radical I recently received to review.  I wanted to flip through it.  I related to the story.  I wanted to read through the last chapter once again.

I had no recollection the word groveling was used in the book as I finished reading it nearly a month ago.  I began reading the book as an outsider looking in, then as someone who felt compassion because of a similar -- but lesser experience.  But there it was.  Even the word "grovel":

Jonathan had finally received a response to his plea: "How long do I grovel at His feet?  He's not there."  And the response was, "I'm here, whether you are or not."  It wasn't too late; that Jesus was still around.  Had always been around.   (From Runaway Radical by Amy Hollingsworth and Jonathan Hollingsworth)

Jesus says in the book of Matthew "My yoke is easy and my burden light."   My desire is someday that all churches will ease up on the things they extra things require and allow Christians to enjoy God's grace, especially those of us who are intense about our faith and strive so hard.  Maybe, maybe it's time we just rest.   The beginning of that passage in Matthew says, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."  True rest can't come in following man made rules, but grace gives rest.

Staying Healthy with your Smart Phone

FTC disclaimer:  This is a sponsored post from U.S. Cellular as I am part of their blogger brigade.  All opinions are my own.

U.S. Cellular offers a FREE PRINTABLE Parent Child agreement to help you discuss safety of the Internet, cell phone usage, limits, and courtesy with your teen or tween.  You don't even need to be a U.S. Cellular customer to access this, although I have been for 10 years and highly recommend them. 

Some of you may remember I attended a fitness week a few years ago where we learned about ways to be healthy and lose weight.  On one of our first sessions, we discussed apps where we could use our phone to help us keep healthy.  Usually you see a group of teenagers on their phones, but in that moment, a group of adults grabbed our smart phones and started downloading apps where we could scan items in the grocery store and see how they lined up health wise, count our calories, and track our fitness.  Do you know I even used those very apps to help me decide what was the healthier option when eating out?  I lost 18 pounds with the help of my Smart Phone.  I'm not alone, because 34% of Smart Phone users have utilized apps to help them lose weight, and 66% have used apps to help track fitness and exercise.

There are a myriad of ways that your smart phone can help you stay healthy.  Unfortunately I've had to call 911 way too often when my mother was so sick, and that's probably the number one way most people think of when it comes to health with a phone, but there's so many more ways one can help you.  One of the most amazing ways my smart phone helped us was during a blizzard, a utility line was down across our driveway.  The power company didn't care and wouldn't check it even though I said my mother needed her dialysis treatment.  They merely told me everyone was an emergency, even though dialysis is the matter between life and death.  I posted on Facebook.  Even without electric I was able to use my Smart Phone.  Friends with power really picked up the ball.  Someone even tweeted the governor.  A friend of mine who writes for a newspaper was able to pull a few strings, and we had the line checked and were able to get out of the house so my mother could have her dialysis treatment.  I was never so thankful for the U.S. Cellular 4G network as I was at that time.

photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Another way that your phone can help you stay healthy is through telemedicine.  The Pew Research has shown that 1 in 3 people have gone online to research a medical condition.  Cell phones have made it easier than ever to contact physicians.  While not meant to replace visiting the doctor, it can certainly be helpful for those who live in remote areas or have mobility problems.  I know one of the benefits my mother had with her insurance was the ability to call a trained nurse 24 hours a day.  How handy is that?  It was certainly helpful to know when something needed to be something we were seriously concerned with or if it was a side effect from new medicines.  Some doctors even provide telemedicine for things like colds which account for 25% of all doctor visits.  Be sure and ask your primary care physician and insurance company about any relationships they have with telemedicine providers. They may be part of the Vitals or NCQA which provide even more information on this new frontier of keeping you healthy using your smart phone.

One of my favorite ways to keep myself healthy using U.S. Cellular is with my pharmacy's app.  I can scan the label on my meds using my iPad Air 2, the app will ask what pharmacy I want to pick my prescription up from, and in an hour, I can go through the drive through and hopefully avoid germs from others as I get sick pretty easily.  Who knew that in addition to high resolution and nice screen size the iPad can help keep you from getting sick?

Crystal Wash 2.0 Giveaway Ends 3/14

I'm once again joining with some other bloggers to bring you this giveaway.  Good luck!

Crystal Wash 2.0 Giveaway - A Whole New Way To Clean Laundry! #crystalwash ~ 2 WINNERS!

Deliciously Savvy & Heartbeats ~ Soul Stains are teaming up to Host a Giveaway for 2 Lucky Winners to Receive Crystal Wash 2.0! ( $50 ARV each) This is an amazing product that I am already In love with after only 2 washes!

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in the United States. Entrants must be 18+ years of age to enter.

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Deliciously Savvy & Heartbeats ~ Soul Stains did not receive any form of compensation for this giveaway. Once winner is selected via the Rafflecopter process, the product will be shipped. Winner has 48 hours to respond or another winner will be chosen. No other blog associated with this giveaway is responsible for the product shipment. Crystal Wash 2.0 will be providing the prize to the winner. Thank You for stopping by! Any Questions or Concerns email me at mcushing7@hotmail.com

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A debt Free Christmas -- February

This post may contain affiliate links where I earn a small amount when you start your purchase here.  Thank you for beginning your shopping here at Books, Bargains, Blessings.

Christmas is ten months away.   Why think about it in February?  Right?  WRONG!  If you want to have a debt free Christmas then the best way to do so is think about it every year.  This is the second in my series of having a debt free Christmas.

This month, let's make some lists.  Make a list of all the people you want to send Christmas cards to.   This next month, plan on getting the cards and stamps.  It's sometimes cheaper to buy your own Christmas cards and add a photo inside.  Check out the fantastic prices of these cards at Family Christian.   They even have some as low as 16 for $1.  So if you haven't purchased Christmas cards yet, figure out how many you need and purchase them now!  You certainly won't find deals like this in November or December.

Also, plan for stamps.  Did you know you can order holiday stamps at any time of the year through the usps.com site?  So order your Christmas cards and order your stamps.  That way you will have them come Christmas.

If you don't send cards, then just set the money you would have spent on cards back for expenses as they come up IN ADDITION to what you are already saving for gifts.  If you aren't sure how much that would be, just set back $50.  Put it in a "Christmas" envelope because you'll be spending it before a bank Christmas club account would come due.

A shopping trip that cost me nothing!

Yesterday, I stopped at a store a little out of my area.  I had won $45 in gift cards and had been waiting until I could stop at a store of this chain to use them.  I was disappointed at how many items I picked up off the shelf that were already past their best by date, and that prevented me from getting some stuff I was hoping to get, but here is how my shopping trip played out.

Using sales and coupons, I saved $13.  Using my gift cards I won that took my total to zero.  Then I made a point of purchasing items where I would receive $8 back in a mail in refund.  So, technically I made money on this shopping trip.

I have a Facebook friend who says I paid $44 for it all because I used gift cards, but since I got the gift cards for free, I don't consider that I paid for it.  It's a store I would not have gone to if I had not had the gift cards.

A nice shopping trip for certain.

Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family by Michelle Anthony

FTC disclaimer:  I received a copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.  All opinions are my own.

Have you ever read a book that parts just don't seem to apply to you?  Have you ever read a book that you feel like the author is speaking right to you?  This is one of those books.  In a very creative style of addressing parenting style, Michelle Anthony speaks to nearly every type of parent.  This book has a twist, though.  Instead of telling you to change, she gives suggestions on how to give yourself and your fears to the Lord so that you will eventually change as your trust in Him grows.

As a single (but soon to be married) person, this book interested me because if I can start working on my imperfections now, I won't be Super Mom someday, but I will hopefully have worked on some issues that will allow my children to be raised in a healthier spiritual environment.  (I say healthier because I'll never be perfect.)

Oh, but perfection is something that I always have strived for.  I remember when I was in high school I had a chart that I could check off and see how good of a Christian I was that week.  I thought of that as I was reading the chapter "Beyond Good Behavior and chore Charts".   I had the good behavior, but unfortunately those around me hadn't encouraged me in faith formation, but left me drowning in moral education.  There's a difference, and the approach could mean your child staying with your faith or abandoning it once they are on their own.

Book review of Fallen by Annie Lobert

FTC disclaimer:  I received a copy of this book for review purposes, all opinions are my own.  There are affiliate links in this post.  Thank you for starting your shopping here at Books, Bargains, Blessings.


Fallen is a difficult book to read, but one that was just as hard to put down.    It details how Annie Lobert became a sex worker, her life in the sex industry, and her escape from her pimp.  While this is a Christian book, it has some very adult situations in it but please don't let that stop you from reading it.   She handles them with as much class as possible, but it's hard to be classy when telling about how she was abused by multiple men.

This book makes it easy to see how girls and women become prostitutes.  As Ms. Lobert states, no one dreams of being a call girl when they grow up -- something happens.  Also, one thing I didn't realize was that if a prostitute has a pimp, she is considered sex trafficked because she is not able to leave on her own and the pimp will require her to give him all her money.

While the author made some bad choices, I felt so much compassion for her through the book.  She fell in love with her pimp and had to endure things she never thought possible.  Her escort service tried to keep her into bondage debt, saying she owed them $65,000 for when she couldn't work when she was getting treatment from cancer.

This is a glimpse inside the unthinkable.  Ms. Lobert was one of the lucky ones.  She was able to escape.  She fell deeply in love with Jesus.  She wanted to make use of her past, and she's back on the strip trying to help others who have been sex trafficked to escape.

This book was fascinating.  I can't say it was enjoyable because of the subject matter, but it's one I highly recommend.  It was an intense book and one I could not read straight through as I am sometimes apt to do.  I would read about what she endured and then have to put it down for a little while.  It was absolutely amazing how much pain and abuse she endured as well as how much she was able to tell in 208 pages.  Annie's life story is one that needs to be told so that hopefully her life can help prevent others from making the same mistakes she did, make others more aware of the sex industry so they can spot victims, and hopefully inspire people to help those who are escaping, be it by donating to the charity that Annie has started or volunteering.  

You can purchase Fallen at Family Christian.

You canfollow Annie on twitter at @HookersForJesus @destinyhouse and on Facebook HookersForJesus