Why We Are NOT having Dancing at Our Wedding Reception

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I have never dreamed of having dancing at my wedding reception.  I grew up in the Church of the Nazarene and in that era, they frowned on dancing.  Square dance was not even allowed as a phys ed class.  I never learned to dance, and although I don't see it as a sin (at least depending on the type of dancing), I just had no desire for it at my wedding reception.  Growing up, I always thought I'd probably have the type of reception where everyone went downstairs in the church basement and drank punch, ate mints (and if was really fancy, wedding cake), and as entertainment watch the bride and groom open their gifts.  I have no desire to dance at my wedding reception.

Then I met and fell in love with someone from the city.  Country and city people are radically different.  The first time I mentioned no dancing to my fiance, he was surprised, but we both decided that given the situation, we wanted to come up with a fun alternative.

What is the situation?   Our wide variety of guests.  One book I have referred to often during the wedding planning is A Christ Centered Wedding.  In this book talking about blessing the guests is mentioned several times.  (There's even a section in it about dancing and I love this book doesn't say yes you should or no you shouldn't -- it leaves the decision up to you.)

We had one guest who was so upset by our decision, my fiance un-invited her.  It is so sad to me that someone finds dancing at a reception more important than a dear friendship, but we made our decision months ago and have been trying to work out an amicable solu
tion and was unable to do so.   I know having to uninvite a guest sounds oxymoronic when I just mentioned blessing the guests, but for the sake of the rest of the guests and for our enjoyment of the day, we unfortunately came to that decision after months of discussion. For the most part, though, no one has seemed to mind that we are not having dancing.  It may be unusual, but the majority of people are okay with things being unusual.

Years ago I saw an article in a bridal magazine where a couple had an "Our Favorite Things" themed wedding.  We are incorporating some ideas from that into our reception.  We are, like them, having a game table where guests can grab a board game and enjoy each other's company.  They had prizes for those who played games.  I thought at the time a carnival themed wedding reception would be so fun.  That's not what we are going with, but "Our Favorite Things" pretty much sums up our reception -- we want people to enjoy some of the things we love.  I love deli chicken from Wal-Mart.  I love pepperoni rolls.  I love candy.  I love guinea pigs.  I love my fiance's Cinnamon Apple Upside Down Cake which recently won a prize in a national contest.  Most of our wedding cake we are baking ourselves.

Yet, our guests were still a consideration in the decision to not have dancing.  We have friends from all walks of life -- from Mennonite and Independent Fundamentalist Baptist to Atheist and Jewish.  We are having a number of guests who will be traveling to the wedding without a partner.  There are a variety of ages represented as well.  Yes, it would have been cheaper for us to have dancing because we decided on an entertainer / master illusionist.   Scott Humston is a friend of mine and has even performed at the White House.  I think having someone of his talent is much more fun than dancing.  Everyone will laugh.  Everyone will have fun.  Will some find it unusual we are not having dancing?  Yes, but we have something in store to replace the first dance -- it's common in my area but not in my fiance's area.  We are gathering photos and making a slide show.   

Our wedding is different.  Our wedding is a refection of our personalities, and I don't believe we have sacrificed anything in removing dancing from the wedding.