Valuing Yourself

Have you ever had someone say directly to you, "I don't value you"?  Chances are you haven't.  I have.  I had been volunteering for a Christian ministry for a number of months.  I was told I wasn't valued and the work I had been doing was not valued.  In fact, I was told some of the reports I worked hours on were deleted because "they were too long".  I quit the moment I was told I was not valued and my work wasn't valued, but I can't help but wonder if I had been willing to continue if they would have let me because it was free labor.

Growing up and even into my early thirties I had believed that I should tolerate this kind of behavior by others.  After all, it's turning the other cheek, right?  It's the Christian thing to do, correct?  It lines up with those neon letters wore around my wrist in the mid-1990s "WWJD".

But think about it for a moment. . . Jesus invested in people who appreciated Him.  He had TWELVE disciples.  The inner circle was three men.  Some may think I'm stretching to make this point, but I don't believe I am.  Jesus knew the value of time, He only had 33 years on earth.  He wanted to spend it wisely.

So why should I be doing things for people who don't appreciate them?  I have given generously to others, sometimes without even a thank you in return for hundreds of dollars of items given.  I'm tired of doing and people just expecting it.  Being a Christian should not mean I'm a doormat, nor should I be made to feel guilty because I value myself and my work.

I have a friend who posts some beautiful photos on Facebook.  She sells them, too.  I've told her she needs to put a copyright across them because people have been downloading them from Facebook and having them printed, therefore not valuing her time and talents to reciprocate.  I had this happen to me with a photo I took of my guinea pigs.  I didn't put my guinea pigs' fan page in text on the photo, and it got shared on the Internet without giving me credit for it.

I saw a joke on Facebook recently that said, "Your camera takes great pictures.  Thanks.  I thought it everything it knows."  Good photography isn't something that comes automatically with a camera.  I took four college level photography classes.  Or in layman's terms, I spent almost $2,000 in photography training.  (Of course I had grants and scholarships, but still.)

Do you go to a doctor and decide what you are going to pay him?  No, he spent lots of time and money going through school and as the Bible says "the worker is worth his wages".  You (or your insurance) will pay  $200 for seeing him for fifteen minutes. 

Just because someone is a friend doesn't mean that you don't need to value their expertise.  I have a friend who is a doctor.  I don't even call him "Doctor".  I have, however, called him at times trying to determine if I should go to the emergency room or not.  I don't take this lightly.  Even though he makes a nice income, he is someone I'm really hoping to win something nice to give him at some point because he has been so generous to me with his knowledge and time, I want to be generous with what I have as well.  (I enter contests and sweepstakes as a hobby.)

Not only is the world better off when we value ourselves, we tend to value others as well.  Plus it makes others feel better about doing things and sharing with you in the future if you give as generously as they do.

I chose this photo to display on my blog today because that is an Olympic torch from the Coca-Cola museum in Atlanta.  Just like Olympians know the value of their hard work, it's important for all of us to know the value of our contributions to society!

About Me.

I am Jenn, and I live in beautiful West Virginia.  I decided on the blog name, "Books, Bargains, Blessings" because I thought it was the best way to sum up my life in three words.  (Plus I inherited my mother's love for alliteration!)

I am a prolific reader, and I started learning to be frugal and budgeting at a young age.  I remember hearing my parents tell me how expensive college was, and I asked them if I could open a savings account and put money in it so I could help afford college.  I was five years old.  All birthday and Christmas monies always were tucked away in the bank.  I still have that savings account today, although I did use my childhood savings for my education!

I was into extreme couponing before it was cool.  In the early 1990s I was heavily involved in the coupon hobby.  Finances were such that if I wasn't, we just wouldn't have eaten.  So I know what it is like to have to make do with little.  That's one reason I talk so much about finances, budgeting, and how to find good deals on my blog.  I know there are others out there who, like I once was, are in debt and having to stretch every dollar until George Washington screams.  I have worked at home my entire adult life.  I often share advice on how to make money online.   I have received several awards from eBay over the years for being an outstanding seller.

The "Blessings" part of my blog encompasses family (my husband and I are hoping to adopt even though we were only married in 2015).  Also, my faith is very important to me.

I invite you to follow my blog on social media and subscribe to my newsletter.   (Don't worry, I don't send e-mails too often, maybe once a week, and of course will share good deals on days like Black Friday.)

If you have any questions, I'd love to answer them.  I also love hearing about things you would like me to write about on Books, Bargains, Blessings.

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My Favorite Bookstore (of my Childhood)

"I use Grammarly's free plagiarism checker because great minds think alike, but I know mine is brilliant"  :)

When I was growing up, my grandmother was an amazing crafter.  I saw her create yarn into beautiful afghans, fabric into clothing -- and even bowls!  One day we stopped at a little  craft store near where I lived.  I don't even remember the name of it, but that store was a highlight of my childhood.  I discovered the back part of it was a used bookstore.

While I enjoyed crafting, the real treasure to me was the dusty stacks of books.  Sometimes people use that term lightly, but everything was covered in a thin (or sometimes a thick) layer of dust.  They didn't have enough shelves, and there were boxes stacked everywhere.  They also bought books, and sometimes the books would arrive straight to the stacks in the same box they came in.

It was so fun digging.   There were back issues of magazines.  As I grew I discovered how much I enjoyed Guideposts Magazine and found issues back to the 1950s.  To a 13 year old in 1986, that was ancient history!  I was also 13 when this store closed, but I had about five wonderful years shopping there.

Another fun find I had there was a stack of Judy Bolton books.  My mother had a couple from when she was little.  They were priced high for that store (about $3.00 each)  so I might only buy one a month or so.  After all, they didn't seem to be that popular to the tweens of the 1980s.  They had old covers from the 1950s, and just weren't the psychedelic neon colors of my era.

Many times I would go to pay and the older proprietor would say that they were running a special on just those books and only take one or two dollars for the dozen books in my stack.  Or he would insist on throwing in a couple extra volumes he thought I would enjoy.  I still see him in town from time to time.  His love for the printed word has not waned, neither has mine.   I think of him in a small way as my reading mentor.

Three of my favorite books from my childhood I purchased there.  I read 100 pounds of popcorn nearly a dozen times.  I still have the copy I purchased there, and inside is mark it was 25 cents.  Another book I loved was The Toothpaste Millionaire where a boy starts his own business selling toothpaste.  (I was always an entrepreneur even at a young age.  I loved to dream big and the main character in this book hit it big with toothpaste while being in 8th grade!)  My favorite chapter book, though was Katie Kittenheart.  This book was originally published in 1966 about a sweet girl who was a heroine to all who knew her.  While others my age were reading the newest popular books, I was in the depths of a used book store finding treasures for a quarter each.  

In fact, one year at Christmas, a girl in my class and I decided to exchange gifts at Christmas.  She, too, was a reader, and I was able to get her almost a dozen books because they just so happened to be running a "special" at that bookstore that day and books were 6 for $1.  She couldn't believe I found her so many books on horses under our price limit.

As an adult I realize the sales, special, and bonuses were likely given because I was a child who loved reading as much as I did -- and still do.  It was a very sad day for me when that bookstore closed, and I have many fond memories of it.  There will never be a bookshop as wonderful as that one at least in my mind!

 

Five Minute Friday: See

You can find out all about Five Minute Friday here.  Basically we are given a topic and we write for five minutes and publish whatever comes out.

Start. . . .

See.  The world around us is a great big place, but how many people go through their lives without seeing what is right next to them?

Recently my boyfriend and I were driving through West Virginia.  I've grown up here.  Lived here my whole life except for two years I spent in college in Tennessee.  We were driving through what I call "The most boring stretch of Interstate".

What did he see?   He saw mountains, hills, trees, the New River Gorge where people bungee jump each year.  Tunnels through mountains, interesting shops with unique names peppering the Interstate.  He said when he moved to West Virginia how many people told him how lucky he was to be moving to such a beautiful area.

What did I see?  Concrete.  Mile markers.  Miles of boring nothingness.  I'm used to it. 

I've traveled that road many times.  He hasn't.  He saw.  I did not.  

Sometimes we become too familiar with our surroundings to see.   Our focus becomes not of the beauty around us but on the mundane.

. . . Stop

Review: The Ragamuffin Bible

I recently discovered Brennan Manning, and have not read all his books.  Even if I had, I doubt I could have grasped all the deep truths contained in them in just one reading.

When I was given the chance to review NIV Ragamuffin Bible: Meditations for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Brokenhearted I was excited because I have enjoyed the Manning works I have read.  I was disappointed, though, that the Bible was in the NIV translation, which is not one of my favorites.  I wish it came in other translations, but I knew the version from the outset, so I can't be too disappointed with that.

The quality of the Bible is good.  It's a hardcover which should last for years even with heavy use.  The print size is the right size, and physically the only downside is because it is hardcover, it is a tad heavy.

I'm not sure about the cover saying "Lifetime work of Brennan Manning".  While I understand the concept, when the majority of the text in this book is the Bible, I would think a different blurb might be more appropriate.

That said, this Bible includes 104 devotions, 250 reflections, and 150 quotes.  These are good, and while I didn't read all of them (I read several books of the Bible to write this review, did not read the entire Bible cover to cover.)  The ones I read were very good and nuggets to savor.  An example of one of these is from page 693 "How would you respond if I asked you this question: Do you honestly believe God likes you, not just loves you because theologically God has to love you?" 

Another thing I will say is there seems to be fewer of Manning's writings sprinkled in certain parts of the Bible.  While I understand that it is difficult posthumously  to find writings that fit some of the portions of the Bible that most of us tend to skip over, if you would decide to read through the entire Bible, you wouldn't get nearly as many devotions in those sections of Scripture as you would in the Gospels.

Overall, I think I would really enjoy this as a devotional Bible if I enjoyed the New International Version a bit more, but it's still a Bible I will use on occasion.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

Thoughts on a washing machine overflow. . .

I'm not even married yet and I'm thinking "For This I went to college?"  Backstory:  Growing up I heard what a wonderful blessing it was for women to stay and home, do housework, and have things wonderful for when their man arrived home and how this is God's plan for women.   (I grew up in the 1980s, by the way.  Not the 1950s.)

My boyfriend recently moved into the guest room in our house.  My mother is on dialysis and recently had major heart surgery.  I am thankful for the extra pair of hands to help out.

I had been riding along when taking my mother to dialysis appointments (20 minute drive each way.)  She told me last night it wasn't needed and so I decided to stay home and get some stuff done today.

I got up, brewed a pot of coffee.  We don't have a dishwasher (unless you count my boyfriend and me!) I did as many dishes as our drainer could hold, and then I started prepping the tuna noodle casserole I will have ready for when he and Mom arrives home.  I decided to be extra Donna Reed-ish and started the bread machine.

Then I went to the laundry room.  I had spilled a huge pot of water the other night while doing dishes.  We used every towel in the house we could find to clean up the spill.  I had thrown them in the washing machine, and then I discovered they were frozen in there!  So I thought the way to get them out was to run them through again.  I started the machine and then headed to the living room to sit down with a cup of coffee and enjoy a productive morning before I went upstairs to pack the eBay item that sold so I could get it mailed today.

Then I decided to check the laundry.  There was water everywhere.  I called my boyfriend, located some more towels and mopped the mess.   It was starting to turn to ice in the garage.  Eventually I lugged the towels (wet in a trash bag) upstairs so they could drain some in the bathtub (I hung them breiflly in the garage and they started freezing.)

I don't yet know why the washer overflowed.  Maybe even a burst water pipe.  The temperature was down to minus thirteen degrees the other night.  All I know is there is water in the washing machine, I wrung out the towels that were in there, threw them in the dryer (we'll need something to dry ourselves after a shower).  I'm leaving that for my boyfriend.  And while I'm thinking "For this I went to college"?   He is probably thinking similar.

Tomorrow is another day, though, and maybe on Friday I can be the Suzy Homemaker I was told it was so wonderful to be.  :)

My Eight Favorite books of 2013

I usually read about 100 books a year.   However, in 2013, so much was going on -- my mother went into the hospital in August and wasn't released until December.  (She was home a few days but had to keep going back to the hospital or rehab.)  So I only read about 40 books in 2013.



Here are a few of my favorites (In the order I read them)

1.  A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband "Master"  I loved this book because it was a great view of what if everything in the Bible was taken 100% literally and women still had to sleep in tents away from their husbands at times?

2.  Etched...Upon My Heart: What We Learn and Why We Never Forget  This book was written like a letter to her daughters reminding them of important lessons.  It was an amazing read written by the wife of Jim Kelley, former NFL quarterback, and they lost a son.  She has a lot of wisdom to share.

3.  I'm not usually a fiction fan, but The One Good Thing: A Novel was a fantastic book and I would highly recommend it.  What if we all did something nice for someone everyday?  What if we did that without carrying a secret that nearly tore a family apart when it was found out?

4.   Fill These Hearts: God, Sex, and the Universal Longing may seem like an odd book to make this list, but it was a great book that had so much depth to it I read it in small bits to absorb it.

5.  The Catholic Home: Celebrations and Traditions for Holidays, Feast Days, and Every Day
 had a lot of great ideas on how to incorporate faith into everyday life!

6.   The Church: Unlocking the Secrets to the Places Catholics Call Home was written by Cardinal Wuerl.  Anything written by him is a favorite.  I used to watch his show when he was a Bishop in Pittsburgh and he has taught me so much.

7. Set Free: The Authentic Catholic Woman's Guide to Forgiveness is a book that I would recommend to women -- OR MEN who may be struggling to forgive someone.

8.  Chasing Francis: A Pilgrim's Tale is the second fiction book to make this list.  A megachurch pastor gets fed up with the life of faith he's been living, leaves town to go to Italy to hang out with his uncle who is a priest, and he finds authentic faith.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am hoping to read a lot more this year than I did last year and maybe next year I can give a top ten list instead of a top eight, and I'd love to be able to do a top ten fiction reads and top ten non-fiction reads, but until then you have my eight favorite books of 2013.  

Achieving your New Year's Resolutions via your Moble Device

FTC disclaimer:  This is a sponsored post, all opinions are my own.

U.S. Cellular offers a FREE PRINTABLE Parent Child agreement to help you discuss safety of the Internet, cell phone usage, limits, and courtesy with your teen or tween.  You don't even need to be a U.S. Cellular customer to access this, although I have been for 10 years and highly recommend them. 

It's January 5th as I write this.  We're five days into the new year, and I asked my boyfriend the other night about what goals he had for this year.  He said he didn't like to make resolutions.  I said we wanted to set goals.  Things we can achieve, not things we dislike about ourselves.  We talked about it, and here are a few things we decided to do:

We want to get healthier.  While weight loss is a part of this, health is a whole body issue.  Less stress can also make you healthier.

We want to get out of debt, manage money better, and make more income in our spare time.

We also want to stay in touch with family who live far away.  We just got back from visiting his grandfather in Alabama.  His grandfather is 98 years old.  It was my first time meeting him and I felt like I was not just talking to someone who is family, but I was sitting with history.  (He served with John F. Kennedy during World War II.)

So how are we planning on achieving these goals?   Our mobile devices from U.S. Cellular can certainly help.

To stay in touch with family who are spread across the country and around the world, we both have Skype downloaded on our iPad Airs.  It doesn't matter if you are wanting to talk to someone in the next state or in Russia, you can set a time to talk and you can talk to that person for free with the Skype app.  An added bonus is you can see that person as well.  When my boyfriend and I were not living in the same state, we used the Skype app nightly to be able to stay in touch with each other.  Now we are using it to stay in touch with family and there's still some close friends of mine who don't live nearby who have yet to meet him.  We are planning on Skyping soon with a close friend of mine who lives in Russia.   Such a wonderful app to bring everyone together.  In fact, my friend who lives in Russia, sometimes his family who lives in Maryland will set up an iPad and let them view the family get together via Skype.  Technology allows better moments for everyone near and far!

To become healthier, there's a few apps we are relying on.  One is MyFitnessPal.  I've been using this one since I learned about it when I went to a weight loss week in May.  It can track your calories eaten for the day, and you can set it up to show you how many grams of fat, protein, carbs, etc. you have eaten.  I didn't realize until I went to this fitness week that you NEED a certain amount of fat in your diet to lose weight.  I had been buying all fat free food items and therefore was inadvertently making myself not lose as much weight as I could have been with the same effort.  Who knew?  I didn't!  In addition, if you have a blog you can get a great little button to put on your blog saying how much weight you have lost.  (You can see mine on the right side of this blog.)  You can also track your exercise in MyFitnessPal and it will give you an approximate number of calories burned based on your activity when compared to your height and weight!  Another app that I learned about when I was at camp and I want to use more often is Fooducate.  I downloaded this into my U.S. Cellular Samsung Galaxy S4 and it's a great resource to decide which is the healthier choice of foods.  When in the grocery store, just scan the bar code of a food you are considering buying with your phone and it will give it a rating.  It analyzes calories to nutrition, if there are GMOs in the food, etc.  If it is a C or D rating, it will give you suggestions of similar but healthier products you can purchase.  To help encourage my boyfriend and me to be out and about, I have the Geocaching app.  (This one is $9.99 in the Google Play or app store, but the others I mention in this post are free.)   Geocaching is like a treasure hunt.  People have hidden small containers around the world, and you use GPS coordinates to find them.  It's a fun way to get outdoors!  Also, when you need to fill prescriptions, check to see if your pharmacy has an app.  Ours does and I can scan a barcode on my prescription bottle and it will be ready to be picked up when I go into town.  That way I don't forget to fill my prescriptions and that means staying healthier!

Another way of staying healthy is eliminating stress.  An app I just downloaded to help with that is Evernote.  It can help keep you organized, help you know when you have appointments (and with trying to keep tabs on schedules for myself, helping my boyfriend remember things, and keeping track of my mother's doctor appointments, just keeping an organized calendar is a huge stress reliever because I can pull out my tablet and tell a receptionist "We have a doctor's appointment then, but what about the next day at the same time?" 

Finances?   Be sure and check out your bank's app.  At my bank, we can even make a mobile deposit by snapping a photo of the check with our mobile device.  It's quick and easy!  I can download the eBay or Amazon apps if I want to sell something online.  Plus I can keep everything organized in the Mint app.  I can see how much I have in my bank account, track spending, and create budgets.

As you can see, there's a lot I would like to accomplish this year, and I'm glad I have a mobile device through U.S. Cellular to help me get healthier, get my finances on track, and to stay in touch with family.

How did people achieve New Year's resolutions (or achieve goals) before we had cell phones?  What are your resolutions and what apps are you utilizing to help you achieve those goals?

Book Review: The Mass by Cardinal Donald Wuerl

The Mass: The Glory, the Mystery, the Tradition by Cardinal Donald Wuerl

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Cardinal Donald Wuerl’s book The Mass is a 212 page volume which delves into the mysteries we encounter each week as we head to church.   Each part of the service is examined in depth from preparing for Mass to the dismissal.   The people and other parts of the service are discussed, such as explaining the function of the cantor.   Also, parts of the church are mentioned, such as the Tabernacle.   Even the vestments are explained.

This is a fantastic book for those who are new to the Church.   One thing I particularly enjoy about Cardinal Wuerl’s style of teaching is he starts at the basics, but it’s in a style that no one feels talked down to when he is explaining something.  Even when you think “I know that”, his wonderful style is such that you will still gain something new from enjoying this book.

This book also has a number of photos so you aren’t guessing as to what is being discussed.  In the chapter “The Great Amen”, the chalice and paten are mentioned as being elevated, and there is a photo of Cardinal Wuerl doing just that — what better way to know exactly what is being taught as by seeing it.

As Catholics, Mass is just what we do.  But WHY do we do it?   This book delves into that, and not only is it an informative book, but one that could easily be a springboard for mediation as the meanings behind the rituals are explained.   For example, making the sign of the cross at the beginning or the end of a homily is a way of asking God to help us make the message real in our hearts.  (While not all people do this, I found this example to be especially interesting!) So many times things become habit rather than meaningful.  I would highly recommend this book to any Catholic to try and bring the original intent of each ritual back into the forefront of your mind, and hopefully you will enjoy Mass as never before.

FTC disclaimer:  I received a copy of this book from the publisher to review.  All opinions are my own.

The tree isn't up, but the bed is down

It feels like forever since I've posted anything but a review.  It's 1 in the morning, and my boyfriend and I just prayed together.  Since we met online in February, that's often been part of our goodnight routine.

Routine.

Something that has felt so lacking in my life this year.  

On August 12th, I had strep throat and a horrible sinus infection.  Nevertheless, I had to drive my mother to dialysis.  I went to tell her I was up at a little after 9 in the morning and see what help she needed before I got myself ready enough to drive her the 20 minutes.  I often would spend the extra time in the library bumming wifi, but that morning I was so sick I was going to come home and come back to bed.  But my plans changed instantly -- and life changed in a moment.  I went into her room and found her on the floor.  Instead of driving her 20 minutes to dialysis, I drove her an hour to the E.R.  She was in the hospital for a week, then into a rehab facility, then back into the hospital where they gave her a 10% chance of living.  From there she was transfered to another hospital, one in a "big bad" city about 2 1/2 hours away.  (Remember I live in a town of 1500 and any city of about 25,000 or more is a "big bad" city! ha!)  I burned every Hilton Honors point I had earned in over 10 years to be near here.  (Thank God I had enough that I wasn't worried about how to pay for a hotel room.)  She came home from the hospital and from rehab just after Thanksgiving.

It's been a hard year for a lot of people.  Some have had a much worse year than we have.  I have two online friends and a friend from college who have lost children this year.  Their year has been much harder than ours.  But ours hasn't been easy.   It's been a harder year for Mom than it has for me (physically at least).  She didn't realize she was on a ventilator for 11 days.  Eleven LONG days that she thought was two.  My boyfriend came in (he was living in Virginia at the time) and we were in Pittsburgh for eight of those days. 

I finished up my pre-Christmas eBay sales tonight.  Now what?   Not one light is up, not one gift is wrapped.  I did a great month on eBay.  Still $700 shy of what I had hoped, but I had set my sights really high this month. However, when my mother got a hospital bed this year, the bed she had been using was moved to the living room.  It's finally down.   A living room without a spare bed in it.  Some people will see Christmas decorations as a tree, stockings, and a nativity scene gracing the mantel.   This year I see a Christmas decoration as a spot where a bed is no longer standing.  The mere fact it was there and is now gone is a miracle -- or at least symbolizing a miracle that my mother survived being so sick this summer.

A week from now we'll be at Grandpa's.   I didn't want to go.   My mother insisted.  She wants me to meet Grandpa  (my boyfriend's grandfather)   She said she can get along okay without me because some people will be coming in to help out.  I am scared.  When I saw her on the floor, I don't think anything will erase that image from my mind.  She never asks me to check on her in the night, but yet I felt like "if only" I had.

Life is returning to normal.  I don't know what that new normal is quite going to look like.  I just know right now it looks like an empty spot in the living room where a bed stood.  There is no tree, but there is no bed.  And for me, that's all the Christmas decoration I need this year.