Why I believe in Giving Children REAL items instead of Toys (when appropriate)

FTC disclosure:  This post contains affiliate links.

I've always been a bargain shopper.  I also always thought the things my grandmother could do with yarn was absolutely amazing.  When I was about six, I picked up a child's toy "Learn to Crochet" kit at a garage sale for a quarter.  I took it to my grandmother's house and asked her to teach me.  She took one look at it, and threw the plastic hook in the trash and gave me a REAL one.  She said she could never crotchet using that hook and she wouldn't expect me to, nor would she teach me using such a cheap thing.  That was the first time I ever had an adult replace a toy with a real item.  Now, looking back, there is no way someone could have learned to crochet with that little kit I bought, but handing a six year old a skein of yarn and an adult crochet hook?  Absolutely a six year old can learn with the right tools. (And even easier now with youtube videos and such.)

Bible Journaling and Scrapbook Stickers from Faith That Sticks!

FTC disclaimer:  This post contains affiliate links.  I received samples of the products from the company for review purposes.  All opinions are my own.

I have been a sticker fan since I was a child.  I can remember counting my stickers by the hour to see how many I had in my collection.  So whenever there is a new sticker product on the market, I want to try it.

I've tried my hand at Bible journaling, and while I love the creativeness of it, my art skill are somewhat lacking.  I often stick to coloring Bibles or when I do Bible journaling, just doing fancy lettering of the Scripture in the margins.

Thanks to Tyndale House Publishers and Faith that Sticks,  I had the opportunity to review their coloring stickers and Bible journaling stickers.

Saving so you Can Give to Others

FTC disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links.

When I was a teenager, there was about a year that my mother and I had nothing to eat but potatoes because we were trying to make ends meet.  That is when I decided I was going to do what I could to figure out a way we could afford a bit more variety in our food as well as being able to have the heat set above 58 degrees in winter.

That's when I started reading books like The Complete Tightwad.  Although this book has advice from 20+ years ago, much of it is still quite useful, and one I would recommend to be in any penny pincher's library.  I still read my copy from time to time, usually getting it out every two years or so for a refresher course to see if I'm still doing everything I can -- or even if I can implement something new.

On Being Bullied: A Letter to 13 Year Old Me

Dear 13 year old me,

I know it's hard right now.  I remember and I hurt for you.  So much of my advice would sound trite, but please know you have two choices.  You can believe them and wither away or you can remain strong and find a solution.  I know you.  I know which path you choose, and you are going to do amazing things, things you could never begin to imagine.

Thoughts on One Year of Marriage (Or What NOT to say to the Happy Couple)

This week marked one year of wedded bliss for my husband and me.  We celebrated by baking a cake the same flavor as our wedding cake once the tradition of year old wedding cake was deemed "gross" with the freezer burn forming puddles of water on top of our actual wedding cake.  We also went out to eat at a restaurant where we had won a gift certificate.  There were a couple kids screaming that had they been drunk adults they would have been asked to leave.  (In fact, most drunks I have ever seen have behaved better than these kids did.)  We killed two bugs at our table, and had mediocre food.  We have decided that after our wedding night in the ER and then later a trip to a resort that looked like it could have staged a 1970s horror film or 1970s porn movie, we're not going to try to do anything special for our anniversary again.  

3 Tips for Fast, Easy, and Fun Scripture Memorization

FTC disclaimer:  This post contains referral links.

When I was in high school, I memorized the entire book of Matthew.  All 28 chapters.  Every verse. (There are 1,071 of them, by the way!)  Needless to say, I was the top Bible quizzer in my part of the state, and in the top half in our region of the country.  But it wasn't always easy for me to memorize Scripture.  I had to find the way that worked for me.

Tips for Familes to Focus on the True Meaning of Easter

FTC disclaimer:  This post contains affiliate links.

Easter is just around the corner, and it doesn't matter if you celebrate for one day, or for a whole season, with the egg hunts, plush bunnies, and chocolate filled baskets, it's sometimes too easy to get distracted about why we celebrate the holiday.

I have friends who do everything fun on the day before Easter.  They are Protestants, so they have no problem with that.  Personally I would not want to make Holy Saturday a "fun" day but would instead opt for Easter Monday to have the egg hunt, give fun gifts such as candy and bunnies. (And hey, if you want until the day after Easter, if you get up early enough you might be able to take advantage of half off sales!)  On Easter Sunday, they give their children gifts, but they are usually something like a Bible, spiritual DVD, or the like.  You could even give a milk chocolate cross on this day as well.  (Maybe if you stock a basket with treats that are good for the soul you wouldn't even have to have a second gift giving day.  There are plenty of candy with Bible verses on them.  Stickers are always loved by children as well!)

How to Create Your own Topical Study Bible

FTC disclaimer:  This post contains referral links.

When I was in college, I bought myself a very average, very plain, King James Version Bible.  My friends, after some time, thought it was a Rainbow Study Bible.  To be honest, I had considered that Bible before purchasing my plain one, but there were topics that didn't interest me, and others that did.  So I decided to DIY my own study Bible.

Why you Should Set Goals Instead of Resolutions

FTC disclaimer:  This post may contain affiliate links.

Tis the season to see tons of resolutions floating around the Internet.  Lose weight.  Read More.  Get out of Debt.  Come February, how many who wanted to lose weight will have given up and spend Super Bowl Sunday celebrating the day that ranks second of the year for calorie consumption.

What did you accomplish in 2015?  Did you fulfill your resolutions?  If you are like most people, probably not.

One reason is GOALS ARE DEFINABLE.

Want to help our own first? Here are some ideas!

FTC disclaimer:  This post may contain affiliate links.

Want to help those in the USA before you help others?  Well, remember if you say that you SHOULD be helping.  If you need some ideas, here are a few:

1.  Call a soup kitchen and ask what they need.  Buy it, then stay to help serve a meal.

2.  Take an elderly neighbor who is struggling to make ends grocery shopping.  Give them a gift certificate to the store you are taking them to so they can purchase what they need.

3.  Leave a Thanksgiving basket on a family's doorstep who might not be able to afford a turkey otherwise.

Growing up in a Family of Holiday Workers

My husband and I aren't going to get to visit family for Thanksgiving.  To be honest, it's not that big of a deal to me.  Thanksgiving never really was much of a holiday for us.  When I was eight years old, that was the last time my family celebrated.  My mother invited her mom, step-dad, and my dad's mother and step-dad for Thanksgiving.  Dad was the 1970s equivalent of a 911 dispatcher, and he worked nights, but by day he was a volunteer EMT.

Late October Adoption Update

FTC disclaimer:  This post may contain affiliate links.

It's been a long month of classes.  So far this month, we have spent five evenings going to classes.  Because of where we live, it takes us as long to get to class and back as it does to sit through class (two hours and three hours depending on where the class is.)  This week, we only have five hours of classes, but they are also my husband's only days off.  One week we had seven hours of classes (and seven hours of travel) in three days time.  Oh, and did I mention we also have homework in addition to getting the house in order and trying to come up with enough money for adoption expenses?

Simple Ways to Show Support to your Friend who Blogs

FTC disclaimer:  This post contains affiliate links.

I think everyone has a friend who blogs.  You might read their blog but never mention it to them.  It's great when people are supportive of those of us who blog.  Not sure how to be supportive, here's some tips:

• Mention their blog posts to them in person.  Sometimes it feels to bloggers they are writing to an anonymous world. Let them know you are reading their posts.

• Comment on their blog posts.  It's always great to get a friendly comment on a post.  Sometimes a blog post can take hours to write and then it's just crickets from the Internet.  See one you like?  Comment.

Our First Snowfall Family Tradition

FTC disclaimer:  This post may contain affiliate links.

I was probably about five years old the first time I remember this tradition.  It was the middle of the night.  My mother woke me up, and told me to go to the living room and look outside.  It was snowing.  To a five year old, it has been a long time since it has snowed, and I was at the age I loved it.  The moment was magical.  My mother made some popcorn and hot chocolate and we ate and watched it snow.

Every year after that popcorn and hot chocolate became our first snowfall family tradition.  If it snowed earlier that day and was just a cold rain by the time we got home from school and work, we still celebrated the first snowfall.

The Non-Prepper's Guide to Prepping for Winter

FTC disclaimer:  This post may contain affiliate links.

I live in West Virginia.  As far back as I can remember, we always prepped for winter, although we used to call it "stocking up".  We didn't go all out, but made sure we had enough no matter what the winter might bring.  Some of our worst winter situations were:

Being stuck in the house for 19 days straight.  

Losing electric (and heat) during Hurricane Sandy and us being hit with a blizzard.

Losing power (and heat) when the wind chill was sixty below zero.

Water pipes froze and we had no water for almost 2 weeks.

Even in the best case scenario, I don't like dragging a bunch of groceries in the house when it's cold, snowing, and icy, so I always do some prepping for winter.

High School Memories

The building was added on to after I attended school here.

Yesterday my husband and I went to the building where I attended high school to return some chairs we borrowed for our wedding.  I hadn't been there in almost twenty years.  A converted farm house into a Christian school, it holds so many memories for me.  We had 16 students in our school, all the girls being in high school.

Adoption (non) update

It's been a week since we got the news every prospective adoptive parent fears -- and so far we haven't heard anything more.  The agency isn't sure what is going on, and of course we're just as clueless.

We fell in love with a specific boy, and that's why we started the adoption process when we did.  But now it's looking like we won't be able to adopt him.

People have asked me specifics, but it's like I told someone, "In the even things do work out and we are able to adopt him, it's his story and he should have the ability to share it or not share it, whatever he chooses."   I don't feel I can make that decision for him.

We've started Adoption Paperwork!

I've been a bit quiet this week, but I've been super busy.  We started paperwork this week to potentially adopt a child!



Classes start in October.  We've been remodeling our home for a while, and it's a wreck with everything everywhere.  (For a while we moved our living room into the office, etc.)  We have lots of work to do, because the house isn't quite ready to pass the home study yet (that will be pricey in and of itself.)  Plus, we're pursuing a private adoption, and that is pricey as well.

Next week we get fingerprinted, and I have an inch of paperwork we need to fill out.

Exciting times!

Sexual Abuse, Victim Blaming, and Josh Duggar

When my husband showed me the news story about Josh Duggar, I was not surprised.   What I was surprised about is that the media finally picked up on it.  How I knew this years ago I'm not sure, but I did.  I remember references to Jim Bob talking about "sin in the camp".  Anyone who didn't see something like this coming had their head in the sand if for no other reason that one in four girls and one in six boys are abused sexually.  When you have nineteen children, statistics say there will be some in your family who will be sexually abused.

There are some things that are bothering me about this, and things I have heard very few people mention.   Where are the victims?

First off, let's ask who the victims are.  This is not normal behavior for a teenager.   I can't help but wonder if Josh learned this behavior from a predator himself.  If so, this is something that has not been mentioned.  Still, he is responsible for his behavior.

Where are Josh's victims?  I'll tell you where they are -- having one of the most painful things that has ever happened to them all over the place.  Can you imagine the looks his sisters are getting when they go to the grocery store?   When they go to church?  When they pick up diapers for their children?  No person of sexual abuse needs to have their story plastered all over the media.  It doesn't need to be covered up, but if everyone wouldn't have said 'sisters' their identity would have been protected and they could have processed their pain in private like most victims of sexual abuse.

Another concern I have is the purity culture in which the Duggars are in.  Sometimes this is victim blaming.  I was in college in the 1990s when the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye gained popularity.  This is when I saw the rise of purity culture among mainstream Christians, and learned about victim blaming.   There was a girl I was friends with who was sexually assaulted one night.  When she told a Christian worker about it, this girl was told that she needed to be held accountable with her actions around men.   I don't see that someone who is a victim of sexual abuse should be held accountable for what someone did to her.

I had another friend who was sexually abused before she was a teenager.  I remember her telling me that it was her fault and that no man would ever marry her because she was "used".

What is done to you is NOT your fault   If you are reading this, and this is the first time you have heard this, PLEASE believe me.  You may have physically enjoyed the way the abuse felt.  It is still not your fault.  It may have been the most heinous hour of your life.  It is still not your fault.  You may have been wearing a bikini or a burqua.  It is still not your fault. You may have been drunk.  I am not sure about other states, but if you are drunk in West Virginia, anything that is done to you is considered sexual abuse and it is not your fault.

Please know you are not used.   You are not damaged property, and there will be someone who loves you enough out there to understand what happened to you and will want to marry you.   Please know that forgiveness doesn't mean you have to put yourself in a situation to be hurt again.  There are people who have hurt me, but I don't dwell on it.   I may not speak to them, but that doesn't mean that I brood over the wrongs they did to me.  Forgiveness if for yourself only so you can move on, and if you can't forgive right away, it means you are processing your pain and that can also be a great thing.   Forgiveness is a process and happens as healing comes.  Don't let anyone push you, and don't let anyone define your journey for you.  Your experience is as unique as you are.

If you have never talked about your abuse, I encourage you to tell someone.  Here are some numbers that may be helpful:  Please be careful clicking links if you live with your abuser and your abuser might see your internet history.

RAINN (Rape and Incest National Network) 1-800-656-HOPE  (4673)  http://centers.rainn.org/

My local area:

Garrett County Maryland:
The Dove Center  301-334-9000  http://www.gcdovecenter.org/index.php

North Central West Virginia
Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center 304-292-5100  http://rdvic.org/

An Interesting Observation on Marriage Advice

I've been married under two months.  I don't think that makes me an expert on marriage by any stretch of the imagination.  I do, however, want to talk about marriage advice that was given us and give a few suggestions if you are giving advice to newlyweds or those soon to be married.